Understanding Sibling Rivalry
October—1st Grade
BB-F-2
Understanding Sibling Rivalry
Ways To Reduce Sibling Rivalry
Probably nothing upsets parents more on a daily
basis than the constant bickering and fighting that
s Give undivided attention. Try to spend time
goes on between children within the family. Some
alone with each child doing something that they
degree of rivalry and conflict is to be expected among
enjoy each day.
siblings and is actually considered a normal part of
s Encourage feelings of worth. Praise children for
growth. Children are learning to get along with others
what they are, not just for what they can do.
and this includes their brothers and sisters.
s Don’t always insist on sharing. Each child is
entitled to certain possessions that should not
There are natural reasons for sibling rivalry:
have to be shared with anyone.
s siblings are often different sexes
s Don’t expect your children to play together all
s they are different ages
the time. They need some freedom from each
s
other.
they have different temperaments and personali-
ties
s Allow the older child to have his or her own
s
way at least half the time. Sometimes in our
competition for the attention of parents and other
efforts to protect the younger child we treat or
family members
blame the older child unfairly.
s normal jealousy of what a sibling has or is allowed
s Emphasize family unity and belonging. Re-
to do
mind your children that no matter how unpleasant
s ordinary teasing that children do
their behavior might be, they will always belong
to you and each other. This will help provide inner
Handling the Bickering and Fighting?
security and will enhance their
capacity for
Try not to get involved in the fight or conflict and
brotherly and sisterly love.
let the children work it out.
s Consult you children. A child can often provide
If the children know you will not step in, they
insight on what another sibling might be strug-
usually can find a solution themselves. Do not get
gling with or trying to express.
caught in the middle and find yourself in the situation
s Don’t focus on the misbehavior but acknowl-
of taking sides or placing blame without knowing all
edge and reward appropriate behavior.
the details of the disagreement. If necessary separate
the children and do the detective work later when
Adapted from “Growing Up With Brothers and
everyone is calm and in control. Do not be too quick
Sisters.” Love and Limits: Parenting With Good Sense,
to blame the older child, the younger sibling may
Minnesota Extension Service.
sometimes be the one who started the conflict.
Back |Forward | Table of Contents
October—page 2
Here Is An Idea For Inside or Outside Play
Are you concerned that your child may be spending too much time watching television, operating the
computer, or playing video games and not getting enough physical exercise? If so, why not get them up and
moving with a fun game of Milk Jug Catch? The equipment you need to play the game can be made from items
around your home.
Materials needed:
s two or more empty one-gallon plastic milk jugs
s small ball (tennis or racquet balls work well) or bean bag
s scissors or knife for cutting (for adult use only!)
To make the mitt:
An adult needs to cut the jugs in half horizontally. You will use the top portion with the handle for the
“catcher’s mitts.” After cutting the jugs, be sure to smooth any rough edges. (Save the bottom part of the jug for
household containers; they are great for holding small toys, blocks, Legos, crayons, etc.)
To make the beanbag:
Take one half cup of uncooked beans and pour them into a small plastic sandwich bag. Squeeze the air out
of the bag, leaving enough room for the beans to move around when shaken. Seal the bag with a twistee or tie it
shut, then place the bag in the toe of an old sock (with no holes of course!). Tie the sock with a twistee or heavy
string and cut off any excess material. (Caution: beans are a choking hazard and need to be kept away from younger
children, especially those 3 years of age and younger.)
To play the game:
The object of the game is to toss the ball or bean bag to your partner, who will catch it with the milk jug mitt
and toss it back to you without touching it with the hands. You will do the same. With young children, a larger,
softer ball (low bounce) or a bean bag will be appropriate. Older kids with more coordination and strength may
prefer a tennis ball or racquetball. You can increase the difficulty by increasing the distance between the players
or getting more people to play.
Your child may also enjoy playing this game alone by tossing the tennis ball or racquetball up in the air and
trying to catch it before it bounces or after it bounces. Playing this is a great way to have fun and get exercise at
the same time! Enjoy the game and the time together!
(Source 365 TV-Free Activities You Can Do With Your Children, Steve and Ruth Bennet, 1996)
Author:
Kathy L. Jelley, Extension Agent, Family & Consumer Sciences, Brown County
Edited by:
Rose Fisher Merkowitz, Extension Agent, Family & Consumer Sciences/Community Development, Highland County.
Elaine Collins, Extension Agent, Family & Consumer Sciences/Community Development, Adams County
Carol Ford Arkin, Extension Specialist, Human Development, Ohio State University
All educational programs conducted by Ohio State University Extension are available to clientele on a nondiscriminatory basis without regard to race, color, creed,
religion, sexual orientation, national origin, gender, age, disability or Vietnam-era veteran status.
Issued in furtherance of Cooperative Extension work, Acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, in cooperation with the U.S. Department of Agriculture, Keith L. Smith, Director,
Ohio State University Extension.
TDD # 1 (800) 589-8292 (Ohio only) or (614) 292-1868
11/97—200—des
Back |Forward | Table of Contents
