Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry
The word ÒsiblingÓ refers to brothers and sisters, and Òsibling
rivalryÓ means the competitive feelings and actions that often
occur among children in a family. There are things that you
can do to try to reduce sibling rivalry.
q Treat each child as an individual. Help them
understand that they are treated differently by you
and have different privileges and responsibilities
because they are different individuals.
q Respect each child’s space, toys, and
time when he wants to be alone, away
from his sibling.
q Avoid labeling or comparing one child to
the other. This feeds into their competitiveness.
q When a new child comes into the family,
adequately prepare the older sibling for her
new important role. Make her feel like itÕs her baby, too.
q Play detective. Watch and note when siblings are not getting
along [before dinner, in the car, before bed] and plan separate
quiet activities for those times.
q Watch how you treat each child to see if you are
contributing to the rivalry. Make sure you are not playing favorites.
q Have realistic expectations of how they should get along,
cooperate, share and like each other.
q Positively reinforce them when they are getting along or
when they solve their own conflicts.
q Make each child feel special and important. Try to spend
one-on-one time with each child every day.
q Take time out for yourself to re-energize. Remember, sibling
rivalry is a normal and expected part of family life.
Circle of Parents is the National Network of Mutual Support and Self-Help Programs in Partnership with Communities, a collaborative project of Prevent Child
Abuse America and the National Family Support Roundtable. This project was made possible by Grant No. 90CA 1668 from the Children's Bureau,
Administration on Children, Youth and Families, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The contents are solely the responsibility of the authors and
do not represent the official views or policies of the funding agency, nor does publication in any way constitute an endorsement by the funding agency.
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© 2002 Prevent Child Abuse America