Addiction Recovery Program
ADDICTION
RECOVERY PROGRAM
A Guide
to
Addiction Recovery
and Healing
Written with support from
Church leaders and
counseling professionals by those
who have suffered from addiction
and who have experienced
the miracle of recovery through
the Atonement of Jesus Christ
ADDICTION
RECOVERY PROGRAM
A Guide
to
Addiction Recovery
and Healing
Prepared by
LDS Family Services
Published by
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Salt Lake City, Utah
LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program has adapted the original Twelve Steps of Alcoholics
Anonymous World Services, Inc. into a framework of the doctrines, principles, and beliefs of The
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The original Twelve Steps are listed below, and the Twelve
Steps as used in this program appear on page iv.
The Twelve Steps are reprinted and adapted with permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World
Services, Inc. (A.A.W.S.) Permission to reprint and adapt the Twelve Steps does not mean that A.A.W.S.
has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication, or that A.A.W.S. necessarily agrees with the
views expressed herein. A.A. is a program of recovery from alcoholism only—use of the Twelve Steps
in connection with programs and activities which are patterned after A.A., but which address other
problems, or in any other non-A.A. context, does not imply otherwise. Additionally, while A.A.
is a spiritual program, A.A. is not a religious program. Thus, A.A. is not affiliated or allied with any
sect, denomination, or specific religious belief.
The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure
them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as
we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to
carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this
message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.®
© 2005 by Intellectual Reserve, Inc.
All rights reserved
Printed in the United States of America
English approval: 6/02
TABLE OF CONTENTS
The 12 Steps. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . iv
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . v
STEP 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Honesty
STEP 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Hope
STEP 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Trust in God
STEP 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
Truth
STEP 5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Confession
STEP 6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35
Change of Heart
STEP 7 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
Humility
STEP 8 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
Seeking Forgiveness
STEP 9 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
Restitution and Reconciliation
STEP 10 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
Daily Accountability
STEP 11 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
Personal Revelation
STEP 12 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
Service
iii
THE 12 STEPS
Step 1
Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has
become unmanageable.
Step 2
Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health.
Step 3
Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son,
Jesus Christ.
Step 4
Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself.
Step 5
Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood
authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs.
Step 6
Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses.
Step 7
Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings.
Step 8
Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make
restitution to them.
Step 9
Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have harmed.
Step 10
Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are wrong promptly admit it.
Step 11
Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power
to carry it out.
Step 12
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message
with others and practice these principles in all you do.
iv
INTRODUCTION
Whether you yourself struggle with addiction or poured forth as we have taken each step to recovery.
associate with someone who does, this guide
Having had a spiritual awakening, we strive every day
to improve our relationship with Heavenly Father and
can be a blessing in your life. The Twelve Steps of
His Son, Jesus Christ. Through the Atonement of Jesus
Alcoholics Anonymous have been adapted into a
Christ, we are healed.
framework of the doctrines, principles, and beliefs of
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They
We invite you with all our empathy and love to join
are presented in this guide as key principles at the
us in a glorious life of freedom and safety, encircled in
beginning of each section. This guide will help you
the arms of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer. We know by
learn how to apply these key principles; they can
our own experience that you can break free from the
change your life.
chains of addiction. No matter how lost and hopeless
you may feel, you are the child of a loving Heavenly
This guide is intended to be a workbook and refer-
Father. If you have been blind to this truth, the prin-
ence for those attending addiction recovery support
ciples explained in this guide will help you rediscover
groups sponsored by LDS Family Services. However,
it and establish it deep in your heart. These principles
the doctrines and principles that are taught could also
can help you come unto Christ and allow Him to
be of great benefit to those who live where participa-
change you. As you apply the principles, you will draw
tion in a support group is not feasible. This guide can
on the power of the Atonement and the Lord will free
be used by people seeking to change their lives and
you from bondage.
especially by those willing to work one-on-one with a
bishop or a professional counselor.
Some people consider addictions to be simply bad
habits that can be conquered by willpower alone, but
Men and women who have suffered the devastating
many people become so dependent on a behavior or a
effects of various addictions and have experienced re-
substance that they no longer see how to abstain from it.
covery were invited by LDS Family Services to share
They lose perspective and a sense of other priorities in
their experiences in applying these principles in their
their lives. Nothing matters more than satisfying their
lives. Their point of view (the “we” in this guide) is
desperate need. When they try to abstain, they experi-
used to convey the anguish of addiction and the joy
ence powerful physical, psychological, and emotional
of healing and recovery. You may find comfort, sup-
cravings. As they habitually make wrong choices, they
port, and a common bond with them.
find their ability to choose the right diminished or re-
Church leaders and counseling professionals have
stricted. As President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum
also been involved in writing and developing this guide.
of the Twelve Apostles taught: “Addiction has the capac-
The combined wisdom and experience of these many
ity to disconnect the human will and nullify moral
authors stands as yet another witness of the reality of
agency. It can rob one of the power to decide” (in Con-
the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the possibility of
ference Report, Oct. 1989, 16; or Ensign, Nov. 1989, 14).
recovery from addiction.
Addictions can include the use of substances such
as tobacco, alcohol, coffee, tea, and drugs (both pre-
scription and illegal), and behaviors such as gambling,
We have known great sorrow, but we have seen codependency, viewing pornography, inappropriate
the power of the Savior turn our most devastat-
sexual behavior, and disorders associated with eating.
ing defeats into glorious spiritual victories. We who
These substances and behaviors diminish a person’s
once lived with daily depression, anxiety, fear, and
ability to feel the Spirit. They harm physical and mental
debilitating anger now experience joy and peace. We
health and social, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
have witnessed miracles in our own lives and in the
Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve
lives of others who were ensnared in addiction.
taught: “We should avoid any behavior that is addictive.
We have paid an awful price in self-inflicted pain and
Whatever is addictive compromises our will. Subjecting
suffering because of our addictions. But blessings have
our will to the overbearing impulses imposed by any
v
form of addiction serves Satan’s purposes and subverts
If you suspect you are addicted and if you feel even
our Heavenly Father’s. This applies to addictions to
the smallest desire to break free, we invite you to join
drugs (such as narcotics, alcohol, nicotine, or caffeine),
us in studying and applying the principles of the gospel
addiction to practices such as gambling, and any other
of Jesus Christ as they are taught in this guide. We
addictive behavior. We can avoid addictions by keeping
assure you that if you follow this path with a sincere
the commandments of God” (“Free Agency and
heart, you will find the power you need to recover
Freedom,” Brigham Young University 1987–88
from addiction. As you apply each of these twelve prin-
Devotional and Fireside Speeches [1988], 45).
ciples faithfully, the Savior will strengthen you and you
By being humble and honest and calling upon God
will come to “know the truth, and the truth shall make
and others for help, you can overcome your addictions
you free” (John 8:32).
through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Just as we
have recovered, you can recover and enjoy all the
blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
vi
STEP 1
HONESTY
A loved one, a doctor, a judge, or an ecclesiastical
leader told us the truth we could no longer deny—the
KEY PRINCIPLE: Admit that you, of yourself, are
addiction was destroying our lives. When we honestly
powerless to overcome your addictions and that
looked at the past, we admitted that nothing we had
your life has become unmanageable.
tried on our own had worked. We acknowledged that
M
the addiction had only gotten worse. We realized how
any of us began our addictions out of curiosity.
much our addictions had damaged relationships and
Some of us became involved because of a jus-
robbed us of any sense of worth. At this point, we took
tifiable need for a prescription drug or as an act of
the first step toward freedom and recovery by finding
deliberate rebellion. Many began this path when barely
courage to admit that we were not just dealing with a
older than children. Whatever our motive for starting
problem or a bad habit. We finally admitted the truth
and our circumstances, we soon discovered that the
that our lives had become unmanageable and that we
addiction relieved more than just physical pain. It
needed help to overcome our addictions. The amazing
provided stimulation or numbed painful feelings or
moods. It helped us avoid the problems we faced—
thing about this honest realization of defeat was that
or so we thought. For a while, we felt free of fear,
recovery finally began.
worry, loneliness, discouragement, regret, or boredom.
The Book of Mormon prophet Ammon plainly stated
But because life is full of the conditions that prompt
the truth we discovered when we were finally honest
these kinds of feelings, we resorted to our addictions
with ourselves:
more and more often. Still, most of us failed to recog-
“I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own
nize or admit that we had lost the ability to resist and
wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is
abstain on our own. As Elder Russell M. Nelson of the
brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.
Quorum of the Twelve observed: “Addiction surrenders
“Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength
later freedom to choose. Through chemical means, one
I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but
can literally become disconnected from his or her own
I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all
will” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1988, 7; or Ensign,
things” (Alma 26:11–12).
Nov. 1988, 7).
Rarely do people caught in addictive behaviors admit
Action Steps
to being addicted. To deny the seriousness of our condi-
Become willing to abstain
tion and to avoid detection and the consequences of
our choices, we tried to minimize or hide our behav-
Even though people’s addictions are different,
iors. We did not realize that by deceiving others and
some truths, like this one, never vary—nothing begins
ourselves, we slipped deeper into our addictions. As
without an individual’s will to make it begin. Freedom
our powerlessness over addiction increased, many
from addiction and cleanliness begin with a tiny flicker
of us found fault with family, friends, Church leaders,
of will. People say individuals finally become willing to
and even God. We plunged into greater and greater
abstain when the pain of the problem becomes worse
isolation, separating ourselves from others, especially
than the pain of the solution. Have you come to that
from God.
point? If you have not and you continue in your addic-
tion, you surely will reach that point because addiction
When we, as addicts, resorted to lies and secrecy,
is a progressive problem. Like a degenerative disease,
hoping to excuse ourselves or blame others, we weak-
it eats at your ability to function normally.
ened spiritually. With each act of dishonesty, we bound
ourselves with “flaxen cords” that soon became as strong
The only requirement to begin recovery is the desire
as chains (see 2 Nephi 26:22). Then a time came when
to stop participating in the addiction. If your desire is
we were brought face to face with reality. We could no
small and inconsistent today, don’t worry. It will grow!
longer hide our addictions by telling one more lie or by
Some people recognize the need to be free from
saying, “It’s not that bad!”
addiction but are not yet willing to begin. If you are in
1
that situation, perhaps you can begin by acknowl-
As you become willing to abstain and admit the
edging your unwillingness and considering the costs
problems you face, your pride will gradually be
of your addiction. You can list what is important to
replaced with humility.
you. Look at your family and social relationships, your
Admit the problem; seek help; attend meetings
relationship to God, your spiritual strength, your abil-
When we indulged our addictions, we lied to
ity to help and bless others, your health. Then look for
ourselves and others. But we could not really fool
contradictions between what you believe in and hope
ourselves. We pretended we were fine, full of bravado
for and your behavior. Consider how your actions
and excuses, but somewhere deep inside we knew.
undermine what you value. You can pray that the Lord
The Light of Christ continued to remind us. We knew
will help you see yourself and your life as He sees it—
with all your divine potential—and what you risk by
we were sliding down a slippery slope toward greater
continuing in your addiction.
and greater sorrow. Denying this truth was such hard
work that it was a big relief finally to admit that we had
A recognition of what you lose by indulging in your
a problem. Suddenly, we allowed a tiny opening for
addiction can help you find the desire to stop. If you
hope to slip in. When we chose to admit to ourselves
can find even the smallest desire, you will have room to
that we had a problem and we became willing to seek
begin step 1. And as you progress through the steps of
support and help, we gave that hope a place to grow.
this program and see the changes that come into your
We were then ready to take the next step of attending
life, your desire will grow.
a recovery meeting.
Let go of pride and seek humility
Participation in a support group or a recovery
Pride and honesty cannot coexist. Pride is an illusion
meeting may not be feasible for everyone. If you
and is an essential element of all addiction. Pride dis-
cannot attend a recovery meeting, you can still follow
torts the truth about things as they are, as they have
each of the steps, with minor modifications, as you
been, and as they will be. It is a major obstacle to your
work with your bishop or a carefully chosen profes-
recovery. President Ezra Taft Benson defined pride:
sional counselor.
“Pride is a very misunderstood sin. . . .
When attendance at a recovery meeting is possible,
“Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness,
you will find it helpful for at least two reasons. First, at
conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All
these meetings you will study specific gospel principles
of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core,
that, when applied, will help you change your behavior.
is still missing.
President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve
“The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity
taught: “The study of the doctrines of the gospel will
toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity
improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior
means ‘hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposi-
will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy
tion.’ It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign
behavior can lead to unworthy behavior. That is why
over us.
we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of
“Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our
the gospel” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1986, 20; or
will against God’s. When we direct our pride toward God,
Ensign, Nov. 1986, 17). Second, these meetings are a
it is in the spirit of ‘my will and not thine be done.’ . . .
place to gather with others seeking recovery and with
those who have already taken this path and are living
“Our will in competition to God’s will allows desires,
proof of its effectiveness. In recovery meetings you will
appetites, and passions to go unbridled (see Alma 38:12;
find understanding, hope, and support.
3 Nephi 12:30).
“The proud cannot accept the authority of God giv-
Study and Understanding
ing direction to their lives (see Helaman 12:6). They pit
their perceptions of truth against God’s great knowl-
Studying the scriptures and the statements of Church
edge, their abilities versus God’s priesthood power,
leaders will help you begin your recovery. This study
their accomplishments against His mighty works” (in
will increase your understanding and help you learn.
Conference Report, Apr. 1989, 3–4; or Ensign, May
You can use the scriptures, statements, and questions
1989, 4).
that follow for prayerful personal study, for writing,
2
and for group discussion. The thought of writing may
frighten you, but writing is a powerful tool for recovery.
It will give you time to reflect; it will help you focus
your thinking; it will help you see and understand the
issues, thoughts, and behaviors surrounding your
addiction. When you write, you will also have a record
of your thoughts. As you progress through the steps,
you will be able to measure your progress. For now,
just be honest and sincere as you write your thoughts,
feelings, and impressions.
Encompassed by temptations
• When Nephi felt overwhelmed, in whom did he
“I am encompassed about, because of the tempta-
place his trust? What can you do to place more
tions and the sins which do so easily beset me.
trust in the Lord?
“And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth
because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom
I have trusted.
“My God hath been my support; he hath led me
through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he
hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
“He hath filled me with his love, even unto the con-
suming of my flesh” (2 Nephi 4:18–21).
• Do you feel encompassed or trapped? When do
you feel this way most often?
“I know that man is nothing”
“It came to pass that it was for the space of many
hours before Moses did again receive his natural
strength like unto man; and he said unto himself:
Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing,
which thing I never had supposed” (Moses 1:10).
• How did Moses describe himself as compared
to God?
• What situations or feelings weakened you so you
gave in to your addiction?
3
• How can a little child be of infinite worth and still
• Write about how recognizing your helplessness to
be nothing when compared to his or her parents?
overcome your addiction on your own can bring
you to admit your own nothingness and become
as a little child.
• In what ways are you nothing when you do not
have the help of God?
Hunger and thirst
“Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after
righteousness: for they shall be filled” (Matthew 5:6).
“And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before
my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and
supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long
did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did
still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens”
(Enos 1:4).
• In these two scriptures, we learn that our souls
can hunger. Do you ever feel empty inside, even
• In what ways are you of infinite worth?
when you are not physically hungry? What causes
that emptiness?
4
• How can your hunger for things of the Spirit help
Humility
you be more honest?
“Because ye are compelled to be humble blessed
are ye; for a man sometimes, if he is compelled to
be humble, seeketh repentance; and now surely,
whosoever repenteth shall find mercy; and he that
findeth mercy and endureth to the end the same
shall be saved” (Alma 32:13).
• Write about the circumstances that have compelled
you to humility and to seek repentance. What hope
does Alma give you? How can you find or receive
that hope?
Honesty
“Some may regard the quality of character known as
honesty to be a most ordinary subject. But I believe it
to be the very essence of the gospel. Without honesty,
our lives . . . will degenerate into ugliness and chaos”
(Gordon B. Hinckley, “We Believe in Being Honest,”
The Lord’s delight
Ensign, Oct. 1990, 2).
“Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that
• Write about ways you have lied and attempted to
deal truly are his delight” (Proverbs 12:22).
hide your addiction from yourself and others. How
• Writing the answers to these questions has called
has this behavior caused “ugliness and chaos”?
for a deep level of honesty about yourself. How
does this passage of scripture relate to this kind of
honesty? How can you become the Lord’s delight?
5
NOTES
6
STEP 2
HOPE
miracles began to happen. We found ourselves blessed
with the grace of Jesus Christ to maintain our absti-
KEY PRINCIPLE: Come to believe that the power
nence one day at a time. As we took step 2, we became
of God can restore you to complete spiritual
willing to replace trust in ourselves and our addictions
health.
with faith in the love and power of Jesus Christ. We
W
took this step in our minds and in our hearts, and we
hen we realized our powerlessness over our
experienced the truth that the foundation of recovery
addictions, most of us felt stripped of any
from addiction must be spiritual.
hope. Those of us who had grown up with no concept
of God were certain we had exhausted every avenue of
As you take the steps recommended in this guide,
help. Meanwhile, those of us who believed in God
you will experience the same truth. It is worth every
were convinced He was too disappointed in us to help.
effort. This program is spiritual, and it is a program of
Either way, step 2 presented us with an answer we had
action. If you follow these principles and allow them to
either never considered or else had discarded—to turn
work in your life, you will find yourself being restored
to God and find hope in the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
to spiritual health through your newfound relationship
with the Lord. His Spirit will help you begin to see your
Finally humbled, we reached out for help. Following
choices more honestly and clearly; you will make deci-
what felt to us like the tiniest ray of hope, we began
sions in harmony with gospel principles.
to attend recovery meetings. When we first came to
meetings, we were filled with doubts and fears. We
For some of us this miracle was almost instanta-
were frightened and possibly even cynical, but at least
neous; for others, recovery has been more gradual.
we came. There we heard men and women honestly
However it may occur for you, you will eventually
describe what their lives had been like, what happened
be able to say with us that through “steadfastness in
to change them, and what it was like to live in recovery
Christ,” you are rescued from addiction and enjoy a
from addiction. We discovered that many of the people
“perfect brightness of hope” (2 Nephi 31:20).
we met in the meetings had once felt as hopeless as
Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve
we felt. But now they were laughing, talking, smiling,
Apostles taught of the power of the Lord to help you:
attending meetings, praying, reading scriptures, and
“We should not underestimate or overlook the
writing in their recovery journals.
power of the Lord’s tender mercies. The simpleness,
Gradually, the principles they shared and practiced
the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mer-
started to work for us. As we kept coming back, we
cies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us
began to feel something we had not felt in years—
in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet
we felt hope. If there was hope for others who had
live. When words cannot provide the solace we need
been at the very brink of destruction, maybe there
or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to
was hope for us too! We were grateful to hear that if
attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when
we would turn to the Lord, there would be “no habit,
logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding
no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no offense
about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal
exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness”
experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce
(Boyd K. Packer, in Conference Report, Oct. 1995, 22;
a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps
or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 19).
we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the
In this atmosphere of faith and testimony, we
tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even
found hope that began to awaken us to the mercy
unto the power of deliverance (see 1 Nephi 1:20).
and power of God. We began to believe that He could
“Some individuals who hear or read this message
deliver us from the bondage of addiction. We followed
erroneously may discount or dismiss in their personal
the example of our recovering friends. We attended
lives the availability of the tender mercies of the Lord.
meetings, prayed, renewed our activity in the Church,
. . . We may falsely think that such blessings and gifts
and pondered and applied the scriptures, and our own
are reserved for other people who appear to be more
7
righteous or who serve in visible Church callings.
and blessing of the Holy Ghost. Our testimonies are
I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are avail-
that you can come to know the perfectly united love
able to all of us and that the Redeemer of Israel is
of the Godhead by watching for evidence of Their love
eager to bestow such gifts upon us” (in Conference
and power in your life and in the lives of others.
Report, Apr. 2005, 106–7; or Ensign, May 2005,
100–101).
Study and Understanding
You will see the tender mercies of the Lord in your
The following scriptures may help you in taking
life as you learn to watch for them and as you come to
step 2. We recommend that you use these scriptures
believe that the power of God can indeed help you
and questions for discussion, study, and writing.
recover.
Remember to be honest and specific in your writing.
Action Steps
Belief in God
“Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created
Pray; read and ponder the scriptures
all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he
As you let go of pride and begin to consider bringing
has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in
God back into your life, you will start to think in more
earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the
prayerful terms. Eventually you will find yourself ready to
things which the Lord can comprehend” (Mosiah 4:9).
kneel and pray aloud. You will find how good it feels to
express your feelings and needs to God. You will feel you
• Many witnesses in heaven and in earth testify of
have reopened a conversation with someone who will
God’s existence. What evidences of God and His
always answer you, not always with a yes but always with
love have you experienced?
love. At last you will begin to experience the healing
effects of breaking out of self-imposed isolation.
The desire to communicate with God will lead you
to study the words of modern and ancient prophets.
As you hear of others who found answers in the scrip-
tures, your hope will grow that you can find answers
too. As you write your thoughts, you will receive addi-
tional impressions from the Spirit. Study prayerfully,
and the Lord will give you answers to your questions
and needs.
A great place to begin your study is with the verses
at the end of each chapter in this guide. Each verse was
selected with recovery in mind, and each question is
asked with the hope that it might help you apply the
verse to your life. Take a few minutes every day to seek
what the Lord desires to communicate to you.
Believe in God the Eternal Father and in His
Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost
Faith in Jesus Christ
Most of us grew up with some concept of God,
“Preach unto them repentance, and faith on the Lord
and as members of the Church we at least had some
Jesus Christ; teach them to humble themselves and to
knowledge of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the
be meek and lowly in heart; teach them to withstand
Holy Ghost. We may even have had a simple belief
every temptation of the devil, with their faith on the
in Them, but often we did not connect our personal
Lord Jesus Christ” (Alma 37:33).
struggles with our need for God’s power in our lives.
The action required in step 2 is simply to become
• Many of us tried to get out of our addictions
willing to practice believing in the love and mercy of
through sheer willpower or through having faith in
Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and the accessibility
a friend or therapist. Sooner or later we found that
8
our faith in ourselves or others did not enable us
• How do you feel about sharing your feelings with
to overcome our addictions fully. Write about your
the Lord?
feelings today of being humble and willing to turn
to Christ and His gospel above all other sources of
help in your recovery efforts.
The gift of grace
“Let us . . . come boldly unto the throne of grace, that
we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time
of need” (Hebrews 4:16).
• In the Bible Dictionary, grace is defined as
“divine means of help or strength” given through
The Savior ’s compassion
the “bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ”
“Straightway the father of the child cried out, and said
(“Grace,” 697). This gift of divine strength enables
you to do more than you would be able to do if left
with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief”
on your own. The Savior will do for you what you
(Mark 9:24).
cannot do for yourself. His grace is the means by
• This man sought help from the Savior and obtained
which you can repent and be changed. In what
it. Jesus did not rebuke him for his doubt. Write
ways have you felt the gift of grace in your life?
about the Savior’s compassion and patience.
9
• How can the gift of divine strength enable you to
• Write about your need to draw on the redeeming
maintain continuous recovery?
(liberating, transforming) power of Christ.
Awakening
Healing
“If ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to
“Believest thou in the power of Christ unto salvation?
an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle
. . . If thou believest in the redemption of Christ thou
of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to
canst be healed” (Alma 15:6, 8).
believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe
in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my
• When we think of healing, we usually think about our
words” (Alma 32:27).
bodies. What else about you might require the heal-
ing power of Jesus Christ?
• Becoming aware—or awaking and arousing your
faculties—is an important part of the process of
learning to believe. In what ways are you more
aware today of Jesus Christ and His power in your
life than you were last week? last month? last year?
10
Deliverance from bondage
“They were in captivity, and again the Lord did deliver
them out of bondage by the power of his word”
STEP 3
(Alma 5:5).
• The word of God will be powerful in releasing you
from bondage. You can find the word of God in the
scriptures and the talks you hear at conference and
read in Church magazines. You can also receive
God’s word directly through the Holy Ghost. Write
some of the things you are willing to do today to
receive His word to you.
11
NOTES
12
STEP 3
TRUST IN GOD
to recover and redeem us. It was a decision to allow
Him to direct our lives, remembering, of course, that
KEY PRINCIPLE: Decide to turn your will and
He always respects our agency. Thus, we decided to
your life over to the care of God the Eternal
put our lives in His hands by continuing to follow this
Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.
spiritually focused program of recovery.
Step 3 is the decision step. In the first two steps, we When we first attended recovery meetings, we
awakened to what we could not do for ourselves
may have felt pressured or even forced by others to
and what we needed God to do for us. Then in step 3
be there, but to take step 3 we had to decide to act
we were introduced to the only thing we could do for
for ourselves. We realized that changing our lives this
God. We could make a decision to open ourselves to
much had to be our own decision. It wasn’t about what
Him and surrender our entire lives—past, present, and
our parents did, what they were doing now, or what
future—and our will about our lives to Him. Step 3 was
they wanted. Neither was it about what our spouses,
an act of agency. It was the most important choice we
families, or friends thought, felt, did, or did not do.
ever made.
We saw we had to be willing to stay clean and sober
Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve
regardless of anyone else’s opinions or choices. Our
Apostles made the following statement about this most
willingness was the solid foundation on which the
significant decision: “The submission of one’s will is
balance of recovery rested. As we read the Book of
really the only uniquely personal thing we have to
Mormon, we discovered a powerful validation of step 3
place on God’s altar. It is a hard doctrine, but it is true.
in Alma 5:13: “They humbled themselves and put their
The many other things we give to God, however nice
trust in the true and living God.”
that may be of us, are actually things He has already
When we took this step, we felt terrified of the
given us, and He has loaned them to us. But when
unknown. What would happen if we humbled ourselves
we begin to submit ourselves by letting our wills be
and surrendered our lives and wills completely to the
swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving
care of God? For many of us, childhood had been very
something to Him” (“Insights from My Life,” Ensign,
hard, and we were terrified of becoming as vulnerable
Aug. 2000, 9).
as little children again. We were convinced by past expe-
President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the
riences that making a definite commitment was nearly
Twelve described his decision to yield his will to God
impossible, given the insanity surrounding us in this
and the freedom that decision gave him: “Perhaps the
world. We had seen too many commitments broken.
greatest discovery of my life, without question the great-
We had broken too many ourselves. The best some
est commitment, came when finally I had the confidence
of us could do was try what our recovering friends had
in God that I would loan or yield my agency to him—
suggested: “Don’t use. Go to meetings. Ask for help.”
without compulsion or pressure, without any duress, as
Those who had walked the steps of recovery before
a single individual alone, by myself, no counterfeiting,
us invited us to experiment with this new way of living.
nothing expected other than the privilege. In a sense,
They patiently waited for us to become willing to open
speaking figuratively, to take one’s agency, that precious
the door to God just a little bit.
gift which the scriptures make plain is essential to life
The Lord extends the same invitation: “I stand at the
itself, and say, ‘I will do as you direct,’ is afterward to
door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open
learn that in so doing you possess it all the more”
the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him,
(Obedience, Brigham Young University Speeches of
and he with me” (Revelation 3:20).
the Year [Dec. 7, 1971], 4).
At first our efforts were anxious and halting. We
When we took step 3, we faced the truth that
kept giving the Lord our trust and then taking it back.
recovery was far more the result of the Lord’s efforts
We worried that He would be displeased at our incon-
than our own. He worked the miracle when we invited
sistency and withdraw His support and love from us.
Him into our lives. Step 3 was a decision to allow God
But He didn’t.
13
Gradually we allowed the Lord to demonstrate His
Baptism and the sacrament symbolize your love for
healing power and the safety of following His way.
and surrender to Jesus Christ. You covenant to take His
Eventually each of us realized that we not only had to
name upon you, to always remember Him, to follow
give up our addictions, but we also had to turn our
Him and keep His commandments “that [you] may
entire will and life over to God. As we did so, we
always have his Spirit to be with [you]” (Moroni 4:3;
found Him patient and accepting of our faltering
see also Moroni 5:2; D&C 20:77, 79).
efforts to surrender to Him in all things.
Speak with your bishop or branch president about
Our ability to withstand temptation is now
your addiction and your decision to follow the will of
grounded in our continual submission to the will of
God. Do your best to attend sacrament meeting each
the Lord. We express our need for the power available
week. As you worship, listen carefully to the sacrament
to us through the Savior’s Atonement, and we begin to
prayers and consider the gifts that Heavenly Father
feel that power within us, fortifying us against the next
offers you. Then renew your commitment to accept
temptation. We have learned to accept life on the
and follow His will for your life by partaking of the
Lord’s terms.
sacrament if your bishop or branch president gives
As Elder Maxwell observed, this submission to
you permission to do so.
the Lord is hard doctrine. It requires us to rededicate
As your recovery progresses, you will find yourself
ourselves to His will at the start of each day and some-
more willing to be among those who honor the sacri-
times every hour or even from moment to moment. As
fice of the Savior. You will begin to experience the
we are willing to do so, we find the grace, or enabling
reality that “with God nothing shall be impossible”
power, to do what we could not do for ourselves.
(Luke 1:37).
Continued submission to God’s will reduces strife
Decide to trust and obey God; change what you
and brings more meaning to our lives. Small things
can change; accept what you cannot change
like traffic jams are no longer cause for upset. We no
longer fear our creditors. We accept responsibility for
These words—adapted from a prayer by Reinhold
our actions. We accept and treat others as we would
Niebuhr and known as the “Serenity Prayer”—can help
like to be treated, as the Savior would treat us all.
you as you decide to trust and obey God, “God, grant
Our eyes, our minds, and our hearts are finally open
me serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
to the truth that mortality is challenging and that it
courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to
will always have the potential to bring us sorrow and
know the difference.”
frustration as well as happiness.
You can accept with serenity the current reality of
Each new day we renew our submission to the Lord
your condition when you trust in God’s ability to help
and His will. This is what most of us mean when we
you. You can accept with serenity that although you
say, “One day at a time.” We have decided to let go
cannot control the choices and actions of others, you
of the self-will and self-seeking that were at the root
can decide how you will act in each situation you face.
of our addictions and enjoy another 24 hours of the
You can decide with courage to trust your Father in
serenity and strength that come from trusting in God
Heaven and act according to His will. You can turn your
and in His goodness, power, and love.
will and life over to His care. You can decide to do what
He asks and to keep His commandments.
Action Steps
You may not be able to change some things in your
Attend sacrament meeting; review and renew
life, but you can change your willingness to trust in
baptismal covenants
God and obey Him. As you learn to trust Him, you will
Taking step 3 and trusting God in all things can be
see that His plan is for you to follow what Alma called
like putting on a new pair of glasses and seeing every-
the “great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8). You will
thing with new eyes. By making the decision to turn
learn that even in affliction and difficulty “all things
your will over to God, you will begin to experience the
work together for good to them that love God”
comfort and joy that come from seeking and doing
(Romans 8:28) and keep His commandments (see
Heavenly Father’s will.
also D&C 90:24; 98:3; 100:15; 105:40).
14
Study and Understanding
Submitting to the will of God
“The burdens which were laid upon Alma and his
The following scriptures may help you in taking
brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen
step 3. Use these scriptures and questions for medi-
them that they could bear up their burdens with ease,
tation, study, and writing. Remember to be honest
and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all
and specific in your writing.
the will of the Lord” (Mosiah 24:15).
In harmony with the will of God
• The Lord could have removed the burdens of Alma
“Reconcile yourselves to the will of God, and not to the
and his people; instead, He strengthened them to
will of the devil and the flesh; and remember, after ye
bear “their burdens with ease.” Notice that they
are reconciled unto God, that it is only in and through
did not complain but submitted cheerfully and
the grace of God that ye are saved” (2 Nephi 10:24).
patiently to the will of the Lord. Write about the
humility it takes to want immediate relief and yet
• Consider what it means to live your life in harmony
be willing to have a burden lightened gradually.
with the will of God. Think about how His enabling
power can come into your life as you turn to Him.
How do you feel about letting God direct your life?
• What does it mean to submit to God? How do you
submit?
• What prevents you from allowing Him to direct
your life?
15
• How do you feel about submitting willingly and
with patience to the Lord’s timetable of change?
• Consider the importance of praying in the moment
of temptation, and write about how prayer will
strengthen your humility and your faith in Christ.
• How can you gain the courage to keep trying until
you are free of your burdens?
• How strong is your willingness to yield your heart to
Fasting and prayer
God instead of yielding to addiction in the moment
“They did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and
of temptation?
stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the
faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and
consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sancti-
fication of their hearts, which sanctification cometh
because of their yielding their hearts unto God”
(Helaman 3:35).
• This verse describes a people who yielded their
hearts to God. How can fasting strengthen your
ability to yield your heart to God and abstain
from addiction?
16
Humbling yourself before God
• In what ways can you learn to trust in God?
“He did deliver them because they did humble them-
selves before him; and because they cried mightily
unto him he did deliver them out of bondage; and
thus doth the Lord work with his power in all cases
among the children of men, extending the arm of
mercy towards them that put their trust in him”
(Mosiah 29:20).
• What keeps you from “crying mightily” to God for
deliverance according to His will?
• To humble yourself is a decision you make. Satan
may try to get you to believe that although God
helped others, He won’t help you because you are
helpless and hopeless. Recognize this lie for what
it is. In truth, you are a child of God. How can
this knowledge help you humble yourself?
• What has kept you from seeking this kind of deliv-
erance in the past?
The choice to begin recovery
“I would that ye should be humble, and be submis-
sive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience
and long-suffering; being temperate in all things;
being diligent in keeping the commandments of God
at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in
need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning
thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive”
(Alma 7:23).
17
• Step 3 is a choice. Recovery happens by God’s
• Which ones can you work on today? What can
power, but only after you choose to seek His help.
you do now to start?
Your decision opens the channels for His power to
flow into your life. Consider how humility, patience,
gentleness, and so on are all choices. The last
quality listed in the scripture is gratitude. How does
gratitude help you be humble?
Becoming as a child
“The natural man is an enemy to God, and has been
from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever,
unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit,
and putteth off the natural man and becometh a
saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and
becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble,
• What other qualities did Alma include in this list?
patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things
which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as
a child doth submit to his father” (Mosiah 3:19).
• Many of us experienced unloving treatment from
parents or guardians, and becoming “as a child”
is challenging, maybe even terrifying. If you have
unresolved problems with a parent, what can you
do to separate your feelings about your parent
from your feelings about God?
• Which of these qualities do you lack?
18
• Although you may have problems to resolve with
your earthly parents, you can have confidence in
Heavenly Father and the Savior as perfect fathers.
Why can you trust Heavenly Father and the Savior
as you submit your life to Them?
Communing with God
“[Jesus] kneeled down, and prayed, saying, Father, if
thou be willing, remove this cup from me: neverthe-
less not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:41–42).
• In this prayer, the Savior demonstrated His willing-
ness to submit to the Father. He expressed His
desires but then humbly did the will of His Father.
Consider the blessing of being able to tell God
your feelings. How does knowing that He under-
stands your reluctance, your pain, or whatever you
feel help you say, “Thy will be done,” and mean it?
19
NOTES
20
STEP 4
TRUTH
discover what these liabilities in each of us have been,
and are” (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, 42).
KEY PRINCIPLE: Make a searching and fearless
The inventory was also a step in helping us align
written moral inventory of yourself.
our lives with the will of God. Through this inventory,
W
we identified negative thoughts, emotions, and actions
hen you took step 3, you decided to trust the
that ruled our lives. By discovering those destructive
Lord. You turned your will and your life over
elements in our lives, we took the first step toward
to His care. In step 4, you show your willingness to
correcting them. Doing an inventory was difficult,
trust God. You make a searching and fearless written
but this step opened the door to the additional faith
inventory of your life, surveying or summarizing the
and hope we needed to continue our recoveries and
thoughts, events, emotions, and actions of your life,
overcome addiction.
making your inventory as complete as possible.
Doing a fearless and thorough inventory of your life
How to do an inventory
will not be easy. When we say fearless, we do not mean
Once we had admitted the need for step 4, the next
you will have no feelings of fear. You will likely experi-
questions became, “But just how do I do an inventory?
ence many emotions as you survey your life, including
What tools will I need?” An inventory is a very personal
embarrassment or shame or fear. Fearless means you
process, and there is no single right way to do it. You
will not let your fears stop you from being thorough in
can consult with others who have already done an
the inventory process. In step 4, it means you commit
inventory and seek the Lord’s guidance in doing your
to rigorous honesty as you focus on events in your life,
own. He will help you be truthful and loving as you
including your own weaknesses, and not on anyone
sort through your memories and feelings.
else’s weaknesses.
One way to do an inventory is to list memories of
In the past you probably justified bad behavior
people; institutions or organizations; principles, ideas,
and blamed other people, places, or things for the
or beliefs; and events, situations, or circumstances that
problems you had created. Now you will begin to take
trigger positive and negative feelings (including sad-
responsibility for past and current actions, even though
ness, regret, anger, resentment, fear, bitterness). Some
you may need to acknowledge painful, embarrassing,
items on the list may appear multiple times. That is
or difficult events, thoughts, emotions, or actions.
okay. Do not try to sort or judge or analyze at this
If the thought of making a searching and fearless
point. For now, the most important thing is to be as
inventory of yourself feels overwhelming, know you are
thorough as possible.
not alone. Our hearts go out to you. We remember our
As you do your inventory, look beyond your past
struggles to find the willingness to complete this step.
behaviors and examine the thoughts, feelings, and
Many of us wondered if we might skip step 4 entirely
beliefs that led to your behavior. Your thoughts, feel-
and still overcome our addictions. Eventually we had
ings, and beliefs are actually the roots of your addictive
to believe the words of those who went before us:
behaviors. Unless you examine all your tendencies
“Without a searching and fearless moral inventory, . . .
toward fear, pride, resentment, anger, self-will, and
the faith which really works in daily living is still out of
self-pity, your abstinence will be shaky at best. You
reach” (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions [1981], 43).
will continue with your original addiction or switch
Addiction crippled our ability to reflect honestly
to another one. Your addiction is a symptom of other
about our lives. It limited our ability to understand the
“causes and conditions” (Alcoholics Anonymous
damage and havoc—the liabilities—it caused in all our
[2001], 64).
relationships. Before we could confidently rely on the
Some people group their lives according to age,
Savior, we needed a framework through which He could
grades in school, places lived, or relationships. Others
help us sort out our past honestly. Step 4 provided that
start simply by brainstorming. You will probably not
framework; it was the “vigorous and painstaking effort to
remember everything all at once. Continue to be
21
prayerful and allow the Lord to bring things to your
Inspired counsel. What counsel does the Lord
remembrance. Leave this process open-ended, and add
give concerning this incident? Remember you have
to your inventory as your memories come.
nothing to fear as you submit to the Savior. You are
Once you have finished your list, seek the Lord’s
here to learn good from evil, and the Savior can help
guidance in learning from each memory. Some people
you forgive yourself and others. Record your thoughts
organize this part of their inventory into a table or chart
and impressions as you consider inspired counsel from
with columns under each of the five headings listed
the scriptures and from Church leaders.
below. They restrict their entries to brief statements.
Four necessary elements
Others create a page for each entry on their list, and
Four elements are critical to a successful moral
then write answers in each of the five categories.
inventory—writing, honesty, support, and prayer. These
Incident. What happened? In just a few words, give
elements of a moral inventory will help you recognize
a short description of your memory of the event. Think
and overcome sins and shortcomings.
more in terms of a summary rather than a long story.
Writing. The inventory of your life will be most
Effect. What was the effect on you or others?
effective if you write it. You can hold a written list in
Feelings. What were your feelings at the time of the
your hands, review it, and refer to it when necessary;
incident? What are your feelings now about it? Consider
unwritten thoughts are easy to forget, and distractions
how your fears may have contributed to it.
can easily interrupt you. As you write your moral inven-
Self-examination. How did your character weak-
tory, you will be able to think more clearly about the
nesses or strengths affect the situation? Do you see any
events in your life and you will be able to focus on
evidence of pride, self-pity, self-deception, or self-will in
them with less distraction.
your attitudes and actions? Be sure to record also those
Some people try to avoid writing their moral inven-
times when you acted right.
tory, feeling embarrassed or fearful about their writing
The Holy Ghost can help you humble yourself and
ability or about someone else reading what they write.
face the truth, even if the truth is painful. With the help
Don’t let these fears stop you. Your spelling, grammar,
of the Lord, you can recognize your strengths and weak-
penmanship, or typing skills do not matter. You can
nesses (see Ether 12:27). Questions like these may help:
draw stick figures, if you must, but get your inventory
on paper. Until you put it in a tangible form, you still
• What outcome did I want in this situation and why?
haven’t done your fourth step. As you complete the
• How did I try to control the situation?
fourth step, remember that perfectionism—trying to
• Was it any of my business?
do your inventory perfectly and to please others—can
block you from being complete.
• What actions did I take or omit to get what I
The fear of someone reading what you have written
wanted?
can be a genuine concern, but you can overcome it.
• Did I ignore reality?
Those of us who have done an inventory have had to
• Were my expectations reasonable for myself and
face this fear. We had to do all we could to keep our
for others?
inventory private and then trust the results to God. We
had to care more about healing than about our ego or
• Did I lie to myself or to others?
reputation. The inventory required us to call on God’s
• Did I ignore the feelings of others and think only
help continually, to ask Him to protect and guide us as
of myself ?
we accomplished it. You must remember that step 4 is
• How did I act like a victim to control others, get
an act of stepping out of shadows of shame and admit-
attention and sympathy, be special, and so on?
ting your need for repentance. If you will be prayerful
about how and where to keep your inventory pages
• Did I resist help from God and others?
private, the Lord will guide you to do what is best.
• Did I insist on being right?
Honesty. Being honest with yourself about the
• Did I feel slighted for lack of recognition or
sinful areas of your life can be terrifying. Often people
acknowledgment?
avoid looking too closely at themselves in the mirror of
22
the past, fearing the reflection may reveal the truth
that you will see as you complete this step can inspire
of what their lives have become. Now as you take the
you to change the direction of your life if you will let
fourth step, you must face the truth about your life and
it. Because of the love and grace of the Savior, you do
your fears squarely.
not have to be what you have been. By calling on the
In your inventory, you will not only discover your
Lord for guidance as you examine your life, you will
weaknesses but you will also understand and appre-
come to recognize your experiences as learning
ciate your strengths better. Include in your inventory
opportunities. You will find that uncovering weak-
your good traits and the positive things you have done.
nesses you have suffered with for so long will allow
In truth, you are a combination of weaknesses and
you to move forward to a new life.
strengths. As you become willing to see the whole
Action Steps
truth about your past—good and bad—you allow the
powers of heaven to reveal the truth and help you put
Write in a personal journal; seek guidance
the past in proper perspective. The Lord will help you
from the Holy Ghost
change your life’s course and fulfill your divine poten-
For many of us, an inventory was our first effort to
tial. You will learn that you are like all other humans,
write about our lives. A personal journal can continue
with strengths and weaknesses. You can begin to
to be a very powerful tool of recovery. Prophets of the
face others on equal footing.
Lord have often taught the importance of journals.
Support. The encouragement and support of
For example, President Spencer W. Kimball counseled,
others who understand recovery can help you in your
“Write . . . your goings and comings, your deepest
efforts. They can guide you in discovering the method,
thoughts, your achievements and your failures, your
structure, or approach that will work best for you in
associations and your triumphs, your impressions and
reviewing your past. They can encourage you if you get
your testimonies” (“The Angels May Quote from It,”
discouraged.
New Era, Oct. 1975, 5).
Prayer. As you consider the magnitude of step 4
When you prayerfully write about your life, you give
and the challenge it represents, think of how the Lord
the Holy Ghost an opportunity to help you see and
has helped you in each previous step. As you turned to
understand the potential lessons that come from each
God for comfort, courage, and guidance, you found the
of your experiences. If you are not currently keeping a
help that will continue with you as you do an inventory.
journal, we encourage you to start. If you are already
Paul taught that God is the “God of all comfort; who
keeping one, we encourage you to be more prayerful
comforteth us in all our tribulation” (2 Corinthians
as you write so the Lord can teach you and enrich your
1:3–4). If you pray each time you sit down to write
understanding through His Spirit.
your inventory, God will help you. You will learn this
Make an accounting of your life, past and
reality as you take this seemingly impossible step—
present
God can and will always be there for you, if you ask.
Completing an inventory will take time. There is no
Freeing yourself from the past
need to rush through it, but you need to get started.
Some people are concerned about looking into the
Where you begin is not as important as eventually
past for fear of inadvertently creating false memories
examining your past as far as your memory and the
from vague or exaggerated impressions. In doing your
Lord’s inspiration will take you. Just write as memories
inventory, consider only those memories that are plain
come into your mind. What you write is private, and
enough to be addressed and sorted through. Here
you will share it only with a trusted support person you
again, trusting God is the answer. If you conduct your
will prayerfully select when you take step 5. Your inven-
inventory with sincere prayer, with real intent, having
tory is about you and your relationship with yourself,
faith in Christ, you can trust Him to bring those things
with God, and with others. As you gather courage to
to your remembrance that will help in your recovery.
see yourself as you really are, God will open your eyes,
One glorious result of completing step 4 is that you
and you will begin to see yourself as He sees you—as
take a major step toward freeing yourself from behav-
one of His children with a divine birthright. Take this
iors that defined your past. The reflection of yourself
step, and keep your eyes on that birthright.
23
Remember your sins no more
After you have completed your written inventory
and when the time is right, those portions that include
negative or angry expressions, accounts of personal
transgressions, and any other sensitive matters that
should not be shared with others or passed down to
future generations should be destroyed. The destruc-
tion of these writings can be a symbol of your repen-
tance and a powerful way to let go. The Lord promised
Jeremiah concerning His people, “I will forgive their
iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more” ( Jere-
miah 31:34). We should follow the Lord’s example in
forgiving our own sins and the sins of others.
Study and Understanding
These scriptures and statements from Church leaders
may help you complete step 4. Use them for medita-
tion, study, and writing. Remember to be honest and
specific in your writing.
Reviewing your life
Acknowledging the past
“I invite each one of you to thoughtfully review your
life. Have you deviated from the standards that you
“Turn away from your sins; shake off the chains of
know will bring happiness? Is there a dark corner that
him that would bind you fast; come unto that God
needs to be cleaned out? Are you now doing things
who is the rock of your salvation” (2 Nephi 9:45).
that you know are wrong? Do you fill your mind with
• Turning away from sins and shaking off addictive
unclean thoughts? When it is quiet and you can think
chains cannot begin until you acknowledge that the
clearly, does your conscience tell you to repent?
sins and chains exist. Write about the resistance
“For your peace now and for everlasting happiness,
you feel when you think about being completely
please repent. Open your heart to the Lord and ask
honest about your past.
Him to help you. You will earn the blessing of for-
giveness, peace, and the knowledge you have been
purified and made whole. Find the courage to ask the
Lord for strength to repent now” (Richard G. Scott, in
Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 103; or Ensign, May
1995, 77).
• Step 4 is one way to follow Elder Scott’s counsel.
Find a quiet time to pray for direction and courage
as you review your life. Prayerfully seek time for
self-evaluation, and record the ideas that come to
you as you consider Elder Scott’s questions.
24
Replacing denial with truth
The hope of recovery
“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves,
“I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I
and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8).
was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I
had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept
• A main characteristic of addiction is denial or
his holy commandments” (Alma 36:13).
self-deception—when an individual denies having
a problem. What healing effects can come from
• Remembering your sins may be painful, but it can
replacing denial with truth?
propel you into a new life of peace (see Alma
36:19–21). Ask someone who has completed this
step how it helped him or her. How can the hope
of recovery help you through the pain of remorse
to the joy of forgiveness?
• How can step 4 help you accomplish such a task?
The truth
“By the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the
truth of all things” (Moroni 10:5).
• Some people have difficulty remembering or
acknowledging the painful truth about the past,
but the Holy Ghost can help you remember and
can comfort you as you take step 4. You can re-
ceive these blessings even if you do not have the
gift of the Holy Ghost. Write about how the Holy
Ghost can guide you in the inventory process.
25
Weakness and strength
“If men come unto me I will show unto them their
weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may
be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men
that humble themselves before me; for if they humble
themselves before me, and have faith in me, then
will I make weak things become strong unto them”
(Ether 12:27).
• Apply this verse to your life by copying it and
inserting your name as if the Lord were speaking
directly to you. Write the thoughts that come into
your mind about this scripture and its personal
• Why is it important to know the truth about your
application.
current situation?
• Why is it important to know the truth that you are
a child of God?
26
“The truth shall make you free”
“Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you
free” (John 8:32).
• Being honest with yourself and with the Lord, who
is also known as the “Spirit of truth” (D&C 93:9),
is the key to freedom from the lies that enslave
you. As you come to know Him, His power and
presence in your life will free you from addiction.
How can recognizing truth improve your relation-
ship with Jesus Christ?
27
NOTES
28
STEP 5
CONFESSION
who listened to our inventories often helped us see
lingering areas of self-deception. They helped us put
KEY PRINCIPLE: Admit to yourself, to your
our lives into perspective and avoid exaggerating or
Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to
minimizing our accountability.
proper priesthood authority, and to another
Writing our inventories was like recording hundreds
person the exact nature of your wrongs.
of separate scenes from our lives. In step 5, we had a
Acommon characteristic of many who have suffered chance to see our lives unfold, scene after scene, in a
from addiction is a sense of isolation. Even in a
flowing narrative. As we did, we began to recognize
crowd or while engaged in activities where others might
patterns of weaknesses that had influenced our
feel a sense of connectedness, we felt like we didn’t fit
choices. We started to understand our tendencies
in. As we came to recovery meetings, we began to
toward negative thoughts and emotions (self-will,
emerge from the emotional isolation in which addiction
fear, pride, self-pity, jealousy, self-righteousness, anger,
thrived. At first, many of us just sat and listened, but
resentment, unbridled passions and desires, and so
eventually we felt safe enough to speak and share. Still,
on). These thoughts and emotions were truly the
we kept many things to ourselves—shameful things,
exact nature of our wrongs.
embarrassing things, heartbreaking things, things that
In completing step 5, we demonstrated before God,
made us feel vulnerable.
ourselves, and another witness our commitment to a
We did honest and thorough inventories in step 4,
new life based firmly on telling and living the truth.
but that was a private experience. We were still left alone
Although step 5 was one of the most difficult steps to
with the shame of the past. Not until we took step 5
take, we were encouraged by the counsel of President
were we able to throw off the shackles of our isolating
Spencer W. Kimball: “Repentance can never come until
secrets and gain some perspective on ourselves and the
one has bared his soul and admitted his actions without
past. Confession began a process of disclosure where
excuses or rationalizations. . . . Those persons who
we shared expressions of remorse with friends, family,
choose to meet the issue and transform their lives may
and others. It was part of an ongoing effort to repair
find repentance the harder road at first, but they will
and reestablish broken relationships. Confession also
find it the infinitely more desirable path as they taste
involved seeking forgiveness from the Lord through
of its fruits” (“The Gospel of Repentance,” Ensign, Oct.
prayer and through any necessary priesthood channels.
1982, 4).
We found it best to take step 5 as soon as possible
We have experienced what President Kimball taught.
after completing step 4. Postponing it would have
Once we honestly and thoroughly completed step 5,
been like acknowledging an infected wound without
we were left with nothing to hide. We outwardly
cleansing it. Step 5 seemed overwhelming, but as we
demonstrated our desire to “give away all [our] sins”
asked the Lord for help, He gave us courage and
(Alma 22:18) so that we could receive a greater knowl-
strength. After reviewing our inventories, we confessed
edge of God’s love and the love and support of many
to our bishops anything that was illegal or a sin or a
good people who rallied around us.
misdeed that would have prevented us from having
a temple recommend. This disclosure to proper priest-
Action Steps
hood authority was an essential part of recovery and
healing.
Begin to seek forgiveness; counsel with the
We also selected another trusted person to whom
bishop as needed; be honest with God, yourself,
we could disclose the exact nature of our wrongs. We
and others
tried to select someone who had gone through steps 4
The “duty of all persons [is] to confess all their sins
and 5 and who was well-grounded in the gospel. We
to the Lord” (Bible Dictionary, “Confession,” 649). More
began the meeting with prayer to invite the Spirit, and
serious transgressions must be confessed to proper
then we read our inventories aloud. The individuals
priesthood leaders, usually the bishop: “While only the
29
Lord can forgive sins, these priesthood leaders play a
Study and Understanding
critical role in the process of repentance. They will keep
your confession confidential and help you throughout
The following scriptures and statements from Church
the process of repentance. Be completely honest with
leaders may help you in taking step 5. Use them for
them. If you partially confess, mentioning only lesser
meditation, study, and writing. Remember to be honest
mistakes, you will not be able to resolve a more serious,
and specific in your writing.
undisclosed transgression. The sooner you begin this
Confession to God
process, the sooner you will find the peace and joy
“I, the Lord, forgive sins unto those who confess their
that come with the miracle of forgiveness” (True to the
sins before me and ask forgiveness” (D&C 64:7).
Faith: A Gospel Reference [2004], 134).
Use great care and wisdom when selecting someone
• How does confessing your sins to God help you
other than a priesthood leader to whom to disclose
make positive changes in your life?
your wrongs. Do not share such sensitive information
with individuals you suspect might extend improper
guidance, provide misinformation, or have difficulty
maintaining confidences. Those with whom you share
your inventory must be extremely trustworthy in both
word and deed.
Let peace come into your life
President Brigham Young cautioned members
not to disclose sins unnecessarily: “When we ask the
brethren, as we frequently do, to speak in sacrament
meetings, we wish them, if they have injured their
neighbors, to confess their wrongs; but do not tell
about your nonsensical conduct that nobody knows
of but yourselves. Tell to the public that which belongs
to the public. If you have sinned against the people,
confess to them. If you have sinned against a family
or a neighborhood, go to them and confess. If you
• Most of us feel fear and an unwillingness to take
have sinned against your Ward, confess to your Ward.
step 5. How can confessing your sins to God give
If you have sinned against one individual, take that
you courage and strength eventually to confess to
person by yourselves and make your confession to
another person?
him. And if you have sinned against your God, or
against yourselves, confess to God, and keep the
matter to yourselves, for I do not want to know
anything about it” (Discourses of Brigham Young,
sel. John A. Widtsoe [1954], 158).
Occasionally you may observe individuals in
recovery meetings or in other situations who seem
to rehearse continually their sins and shortcomings or
the sins others have committed against them. They
are always confessing but never finding peace.
Do not confuse step 5 with an obsessive desire
to dwell on negative things. The intent of step 5 is
exactly the opposite. We take step 5 not to hold on
to the things we confess but to begin to distinguish
evil from good for ourselves and to choose good.
30
Confession to others
“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one
for another, that ye may be healed” (James 5:16).
• You may fear that someone who really knew all
your weaknesses and failings would reject you.
But a priesthood leader or a trusted friend who
understands the recovery process usually responds
• How would your behavior change if you were only
with understanding and compassion. How could
concerned about looking good to God?
such a response help you heal?
Sincerity
“Whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye
judge according to the sins which he has committed;
and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and
repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye
Trying to look good to others
forgive, and I will forgive him also” (Mosiah 26:29).
“Let not any man publish his own righteousness . . . ;
sooner let him confess his sins, and then he will be
• When you confess your sins, you must be sincere.
forgiven, and he will bring forth more fruit” (Joseph
Consider how holding back part of your confession
Smith, in History of the Church, 4:479).
undermines the sincerity of your efforts. What part
of your inventory, if any, are you tempted to hide?
• One major obsession of those who struggle with
addiction is a great desire to look good to others.
How would this desire keep you from improving
and bringing “forth more fruit” (or good works)?
31
• What do you have to gain by continuing to hide
• What might be the detrimental effects of procrasti-
this portion of your inventory? What do you have
nating step 5?
to lose?
Relieving stress and finding peace
“I would not dwell upon your crimes, to harrow up
Confess sins as soon as you recognize
your soul, if it were not for your good” (Alma 39:7).
them
• Some people would claim that we dwell too much
“In this same year were they brought to a knowledge
on negative things in life by taking steps 4 and 5
of their error and did confess their faults” (3 Nephi
and that doing so can only add to our stress. In this
1:25).
verse, we are taught that facing shortcomings can
do us good, not just “harrow up” (or distress) our
• This verse is an example of people who did not
souls. In what ways can steps 4 and 5 relieve you
procrastinate confessing their faults once they
of stress and bring you more peace?
were brought to a knowledge of them. What are
the benefits of doing step 5 as soon as possible
after step 4?
32
Forsaking sin
“By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—
behold, he will confess them and forsake them” (D&C
58:43).
• To forsake something means to abandon it or give
it up completely. How do you demonstrate your
desire to forsake your old ways by completing
step 5?
33
NOTES
34
STEP 6
CHANGE OF HEART
God all remnants of pride and self-will. Like steps 1
and 2, step 6 requires you to humble yourself and
KEY PRINCIPLE: Become entirely ready to have
admit your need for the redeeming and transforming
God remove all your character weaknesses.
power of Christ. After all, His atoning sacrifice has
A
enabled you to accomplish each step to this point.
fter the rigorous emotional and spiritual cleansing
Step 6 is no exception.
of steps 4 and 5, most of us were amazed at the
As you come unto Jesus Christ, seeking help with
transformation in ourselves. We prayed more intently,
this step, you will not be disappointed. If you trust
pondered the scriptures more regularly, and kept
Him and have patience with the process, you will see
a journal more consistently. We prepared to make
your pride gradually replaced by humility. He will wait
and keep sacred covenants by attending sacrament
patiently for you to weary of your own unaided effort
meeting.
to change, and as soon as you turn to Him you will
As we took step 5, many of us met with our bishops
witness once again His love and power in your behalf.
and sought help in repentance. Most of us found our
Your resistance to letting go of old patterns of behavior
addictions tempted us less intensely and less often.
will be replaced by an open mind as the Spirit gently
Some of us were already free from our addictions.
suggests a better way of living. Your fear of change will
With such mighty changes in our behavior and our lives,
diminish as you realize the Lord understands the pain
some of us wondered why we needed more steps.
and hard work it requires.
As time passed, though, we noticed that abstinence
As the process of coming unto Christ takes hold in
seemed to make our character weaknesses more vis-
your heart, you will find the false beliefs that fueled
ible, especially to ourselves. We tried to control our
negative thoughts and feelings gradually replaced by
negative thoughts and feelings, but they continued to
truth. You will grow in strength as you continue to
reappear, haunting us and threatening our new lives of
study the word of God and ponder its personal appli-
abstinence and Church activity. Those who understood
cation. Through the testimonies of others, the Lord
the spiritual implications of recovery urged us to recog-
will help you learn the truth that you are not beyond
nize that while all the outward changes in our lives
His power to heal. The desire to blame others for the
were wonderful, the Lord wanted to bless us even
condition of your character or to rationalize your way
more. Our friends helped us see that if we wanted not
out of a change of heart will be replaced by the desire
only to avoid our addictions but actually lose the desire
to be accountable to Him and submissive to His will.
to return to them, we had to experience a change of
Through the prophet Ezekiel, the Lord declared, “A
heart. This change of heart or desire is the purpose of
new heart . . . will I give you, and a new spirit will I put
step 6.
within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of
“How?” you may cry. “How can I even begin to
your flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26).
accomplish such a change?” Don’t be discouraged by
The Lord wants to bless you with a change of
these feelings. Step 6, like the steps before it, may feel
disposition that will unite you with Him in mind and
like an overwhelming challenge. As painful as it may be,
heart, just as He is united with the Father. He wants
you may have to admit, as we did, that recognizing and
to give you rest from your isolation from God the
confessing your character weaknesses in steps 4 and 5
Father, the isolation that caused the fears which con-
did not necessarily mean you were ready to give them
tributed to your addiction. He wants to make the
up. You may realize that you still cling to old ways of
Atonement effective in your life, here and now.
reacting to and coping with stresses in life—maybe even
As you yield to the promptings of the Spirit and look
more so now that you have let go of your addictions.
to the Savior for salvation, not only from addiction but
Probably the most humbling thing to acknowledge
from character weaknesses, you can be assured that a
is that you still harbor a prideful desire to change with-
new disposition or character will grow out of your will-
out the help of God. Step 6 means surrendering to
ing heart. A growing desire to be sanctified by God will
35
make you ready for a change in your very nature. One
Be willing to be changed so imperfections may
of the best descriptions of this process can be found in
be removed through the power of God
these words of President Ezra Taft Benson:
Whether your addiction has been to alcohol, drugs,
“The Lord works from the inside out. The world
gambling, pornography, self-destructive eating patterns,
works from the outside in. The world would take
compulsive spending, or another behavior or substance
people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out
that represents your need to run and hide from stress
of people, and then they take themselves out of the
or challenges in your life, you can come to realize that
slums. The world would mold men by changing their
it all began in your mind and heart. Healing also begins
environment. Christ changes men, who then change
in your mind and heart. As you become willing to be
their environment. The world would shape human
changed by coming unto Jesus Christ, you will learn of
behavior, but Christ can change human nature. . . .
His power to heal.
“May we be convinced that Jesus is the Christ, choose
By taking step 6, you increase your commitment
to follow Him, be changed for Him, captained by Him,
to abstain from past addictions through a deepening
consumed in Him, and born again” (in Conference
relationship with the Savior, Jesus Christ, and with the
Report, Oct. 1985, 5–6; or Ensign, Nov. 1985, 6–7).
Father, who sent Him. You decide to become sober
minded like the young prophet Mormon (see Mormon
Action Steps
1:15). You continue to accept that God must truly
become everything to you in order to save you from
Be willing to allow the Savior to convert your
weaknesses of thought, word, and action.
heart; participate in the fellowship of Christ by
attending Sunday School and Relief Society or
Study and Understanding
priesthood meeting
The following scriptures and statements from Church
When we were baptized, few of us understood the
leaders may help you in taking step 6. Use these
lifelong process of true conversion. However, President
scriptures and questions for meditation, study, and
Marion G. Romney of the First Presidency explained it
writing.
plainly: “In one who is really wholly converted, desire
for things contrary to the gospel of Jesus Christ has
Giving away all your sins
actually died. And substituted therefore is a love of
“The king said . . . what shall I do that I may be born
God, with a fixed and controlling determination to
of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my
keep his commandments” (in Conference Report,
breast, and receive his Spirit, that I may be filled with
Guatemala Area Conference 1977, 8).
joy. . . . I will give up all that I possess . . . that I may
As you experience the miracle of ongoing recovery—
receive this great joy. . . .
first from destructive addictive behaviors and then from
“. . . The king did bow down before the Lord, upon
character weaknesses—you will experience true conver-
his knees; yea, even he did prostrate himself upon
sion. You will begin to awaken, to come to yourself just
the earth, and cried mightily, saying:
as the prodigal son came to himself (see Luke 15:17).
“O God . . . I will give away all my sins to know thee,
You will begin to realize that to return to Heavenly
and that I may be raised from the dead, and be
Father’s kingdom, you must not only awake but arise
saved at the last day” (Alma 22:15, 17–18).
and allow Jesus Christ to be your Redeemer.
As you yield your heart to God and grow stronger in
• Reread Alma 22:15, 17–18 carefully. What ob-
humility, your resolve not to repeat past behaviors will
stacles—including attitudes and feelings—keep
become firmer and firmer. Delivered from the bondage
you from giving away “all [your] sins” and more
of the past, you will feel more and more comfortable
fully receiving the Spirit of the Lord?
among brothers and sisters in the Church. You will find
yourself desiring to return and be gathered as a child of
God and numbered in full fellowship among the sheep
of His fold (see 1 Nephi 22:24–26; Mosiah 27:25–26;
Mosiah 29:20; Helaman 3:35).
36
Participating in the fellowship of the
Church
“For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our
Lord Jesus Christ,
“Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is
named,
“That he would grant you, according to the riches of
Learning humility
his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit
“If men come unto me I will show unto them their
in the inner man;
weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may
“That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye,
be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men
being rooted and grounded in love,
that humble themselves before me; for if they humble
themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will
“May be able to comprehend with all saints what is
I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether
the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
12:27).
“And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowl-
edge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of
• Being mortal and imperfect, we are all subject to
God” (Ephesians 3:14–19).
many weaknesses. In this verse, the Lord explains
His purpose in allowing us to experience mortality
• As you take upon yourself the name of Christ
and to encounter such weaknesses—to help us be
and are strengthened by His Spirit, you begin to
humble. Notice, though, that we choose to humble
identify yourself with the Saints—brothers and
ourselves. How is becoming ready in step 6 part of
sisters who have been baptized and entered into
humbling yourself?
His family on earth (see Mosiah 5:7). As you have
come to know your fellow Saints better, how have
you become more willing to participate more fully
in the fellowship of priesthood, Relief Society, and
Sunday School?
• List some of your character weaknesses, and next
to them list the strengths they may become as you
come unto Christ.
37
Redemption
eventually you must come unto Christ Himself.
“The natural man is an enemy to God, and has been
Write about how your journey of recovery began.
from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever,
unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit,
and putteth off the natural man and becometh a
saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and
becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble,
patient, full of love” (Mosiah 3:19).
• Many of us become Saints in name only at baptism
and spend the rest of our lives struggling to “put off
the natural man” and develop the characteristics
listed in this verse. How has this struggle prepared
you to accept that only through the Atonement of
Christ—by becoming one with Jesus Christ and with
the Father—can you experience redemption?
• Who was instrumental in helping you get on the
path to repentance and recovery? How has their
example pointed you toward the Savior?
Coming unto Christ
• What have you learned about the Savior that has
“No matter what the source of difficulty and no
helped or influenced your desire or ability to
matter how you begin to obtain relief—through a
change your behavior?
qualified professional therapist, doctor, priesthood
leader, friend, concerned parent, or loved one—
no matter how you begin, those solutions will never
provide a complete answer. The final healing comes
through faith in Jesus Christ and His teachings, with
a broken heart and a contrite spirit and obedience to
His commandments” (Richard G. Scott, in Conference
Report, Apr. 1994, 9; or Ensign, May 1994, 9).
• Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve
taught that no amount of support or fellowship—
even in recovery groups or congregations of the
Church—will bring you salvation. Other people
may support and bless you in your journey, but
38
Patience with the process
Help from the Lord
“Ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things
“My beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this
now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of
strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done?
the truth.
Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come
“Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have
thus far save it were by the word of Christ with
overcome the world, . . .
unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the
“And none of them that my Father hath given me
merits of him who is mighty to save.
shall be lost” (D&C 50:40–42).
“Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfast-
ness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope,
• Sometimes we become impatient or discouraged
and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye
that recovery is an ongoing process. These verses
shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ,
show the Savior’s and our Heavenly Father’s
and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father:
patience with us as “little children.” Apply these
Ye shall have eternal life” (2 Nephi 31:19–20).
verses to yourself by writing them out addressed
to you personally.
• Ponder and write about how the Lord helps you
along the strait and narrow path. How does your
growing love for God and for others bring you
out of addiction, help you continue in abstinence,
and restore you to a hope of eternal life?
• How can the promises in this scripture strengthen
you when you get discouraged?
39
NOTES
40
STEP 7
HUMILITY
Step 7 marked for each of us the moment when we
finally yielded without reservation to the eternal truth
KEY PRINCIPLE: Humbly ask Heavenly Father
taught in Mosiah 16:4: “All mankind were lost; and
to remove your shortcomings.
behold, they would have been endlessly lost were it
All the steps require humility, but step 7 requires not that God redeemed his people from their lost and
it most explicitly: “Humbly ask Heavenly Father
fallen state.” Our experience taught us that in taking
to remove your shortcomings.” The humble heart we
step 7 we were not excused from the work that was
developed in step 6 brought us to our knees in step 7
ours to do. We still had to be patient and “press for-
to ask the Lord to remove our shortcomings. When we
ward with a steadfastness in Christ” (2 Nephi 31:20).
had progressed to this point, we were ready to pray
We had not become entirely free from the desire to
without any other motivation but our desire to become
sin. We had to learn to accept life on God’s terms and
one in heart and in mind with Heavenly Father and the
wait upon His purposes and His timing—even in the
Lord Jesus Christ. No longer were we satisfied with a
removal of our shortcomings. In taking step 7, we
change in habits or even in lifestyle. We were finally
learned to live with the same humility and patience
ready to have God change our very nature.
toward God that Alma and his brethren showed when
Step 7 represented for each of us such total surren-
their burdens were lightened but not removed: “They
der to the Savior that many of us could not help but
did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will
cry out in our hearts, as Alma did, “O Jesus, thou Son
of the Lord” (Mosiah 24:15). We finally abandoned the
of God, have mercy on me” (Alma 36:18). Genuine
idea that we could become perfect by ourselves, and
remorse filled our hearts, not only because we had suf-
we accepted the truth that God desires us to conquer
fered or made others suffer but because we regretted
our weaknesses in this life by coming to Christ and
that even in recovery we still could not remove our
being perfected in Him. We found that by His grace,
own shortcomings.
He enabled us to deny ourselves of all ungodliness and
to understand that salvation comes not by our own
Having felt a portion of the love of God, we desired
power but by His (see Moroni 10:32).
to give up all our sins, even all inclination to sin, so we
might know Him better. Finally, voluntarily, with all our
Each step comes with a warning, though, and step 7
hearts, we offered our whole souls to God and asked
is no exception. We who have embraced these prin-
Him to forgive us and make us in His image. We had
ciples must warn you that you cannot expect to take
finally come to realize that no other name, no other
this step without sacrifice—and rightly so. In Doctrine
way nor means, can give us a complete remission of
and Covenants 59:8, the Lord commands, “Thou shalt
our sins. Holding nothing back, we pled with the Father
offer a sacrifice unto the Lord thy God in righteous-
that He, in His infinite mercy, would forgive us for all
ness, even that of a broken heart and a contrite spirit.”
our pride, transgressions, and shortcomings. We asked
This offering is the essence of step 7. Even as you feel
that He would grant us grace, that through Him we
the pains of your own rebirth, remember that His suf-
might maintain this new way of life.
fering, not yours, ensures your redemption from sin.
The Lord did not begin such a revolutionary change
Your sacrifice is only a humble reminder of His “great
of our entire character until we allowed Him to do so.
and last sacrifice” on your behalf (Alma 34:14).
Step 7 was our decision. We had to humble ourselves
When you put everything into God’s hands, you
deliberately. We had to surrender every particle of
have finally done all you can to receive His unmistak-
self-sufficient pride and admit that our efforts to save
able witness that your sins are forgiven, that your past
ourselves had been insufficient. We had to feel and live
is truly in the past. Like people who were converted in
the truth King Benjamin taught—that we are all beggars
the Book of Mormon, you can testify that you have
before God and have no hope of salvation by our own
“been visited by the power and Spirit of God, which
efforts but only through the mercy and grace of Jesus
[is] in Jesus Christ” (3 Nephi 7:21). Along with Alma,
Christ (see Mosiah 2:21; 4:19–20).
you can exclaim: “I could remember my pains no more;
41
yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no
• Most of us came to recovery meetings in despera-
more. And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did
tion, driven by the consequences of our addictions.
behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as
We were compelled to be humble. The humility
was my pain!” (Alma 36:19–20).
described in step 7, however, has a different cause.
It is voluntary. It is the result of your own choice to
Action Steps
humble yourself. How have your feelings of humility
changed since you started recovery?
Seek for the power of the Savior’s Atonement to
become effective in your personal life by medi-
tating on the sacrament prayers
One effective form of meditation is to think of a
verse or a phrase of scripture as you pray to understand
its meaning and application in your own life. Since each
of us must make the covenant that is repeated in the
sacrament prayers, you could meditate on them.
Following the invitation of the prophets to apply the
scriptures in your life, you may want to read Moroni 4:3
and 5:2 and humbly consider these sacred words in your
own voice: for example, “O God, the Eternal Father, [I]
ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless
and sanctify this bread to [my soul as I] partake of it . . .
Filled with joy
and keep his commandments which he hath given [me],
“They had viewed themselves in their own carnal
that [I] may always have his Spirit to be with [me].”
state, even less than the dust of the earth. And they
Pray humbly for God to do for you what you
all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy,
cannot do for yourself
and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may
By keeping a simple prayer in your heart, such as
receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may
“Lord, what wilt thou have me do?” or “Thy will be
be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of
done,” you will be continually reminded of your total
God, who created heaven and earth, and all things;
dependence upon the Lord. The love of God, yours for
who shall come down among the children of men.
Him and His for you, will help you form one relation-
“And it came to pass that after they had spoken these
ship to which you can give yourself without reservation.
words the Spirit of the Lord came upon them, and
You sought this love all the years you were trapped in
they were filled with joy, having received a remission
addiction. In step 7, you will find a way to obtain peace
of their sins, and having peace of conscience,
as you enter into the “rest of the Lord” (Moroni 7:3; see
because of the exceeding faith which they had in
also Alma 58:11; Ezra Taft Benson, “Jesus Christ—Gifts
Jesus Christ who should come” (Mosiah 4:2–3).
and Expectations,” Ensign, Dec. 1988, 2).
• The people of King Benjamin offered the kind of
Study and Understanding
prayer that we offer as we take step 7. They felt
peace and joy when the Spirit of the Lord came
The following scriptures and statements from Church
upon them and gave them a remission of their
leaders may help you in taking step 7. Use these
sins. Reflect on experiences you have had with
scriptures and questions for meditation, study, and
these feelings. Write about how it would be to
writing. Be honest and specific in your writing.
have these feelings become your way of life.
Choosing to be humble
“As I said unto you, that because ye were compelled to
be humble ye were blessed, do ye not suppose that
they are more blessed who truly humble themselves
because of the word?” (Alma 32:14).
42
• Prayerfully write a list of the things King Benjamin
said we must do. How do these things relate to
taking step 7?
Believe in God
“Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created
all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he
• What promises come from doing as King Benjamin
has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in
instructed? (See the last verse.)
earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the
things which the Lord can comprehend.
“And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins
and forsake them, and humble yourselves before
God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would for-
give you; and now, if you believe all these things see
that ye do them.
“And again I say unto you as I have said before, that
as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of
God, or if ye have known of his goodness and have
tasted of his love, and have received a remission of
• If you received these promises, what would
your sins, which causeth such exceedingly great joy in
change in your life?
your souls, even so I would that ye should remember,
and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of
God, and your own nothingness, and his goodness
and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures,
and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility,
calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing
steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which
was spoken by the mouth of the angel.
“. . . If ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled
with the love of God, and always retain a remission
of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of
the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge
of that which is just and true” (Mosiah 4:9–12).
43
Obeying the law and the commandments
The love of God
“For this end was the law given; wherefore the law
“When we put God first, all other things fall into their
hath become dead unto us, and we are made alive
proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the
in Christ because of our faith; yet we keep the law
Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the
because of the commandments” (2 Nephi 25:25).
demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the
order of our priorities” (Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference
• We are “made alive in Christ because of our faith”
Report, Apr. 1988, 3; or Ensign, May 1988, 4).
in Him. What does it mean that the law is dead to
us? Why do we continue to keep the law or obey
• Coming to know the mercy and goodness of God
the commandments?
thus far, you have probably begun to feel the love
of God—love for Him and love from Him. Reflect
on and write about any increase of love you have
felt while working through the steps.
• How do you feel today about keeping the law?
• How does step 7 qualify as the greatest act of your
love so far?
• How is keeping the commandments an expression
of your love for God?
44
Taking upon yourself the name of Christ
• Write about the feelings you experience when you
“Whosoever doeth this shall be found at the right
think of His willingness to give you His name or
hand of God, for he shall know the name by which
reputation in exchange for all your shortcomings.
he is called; for he shall be called by the name of
Christ” (Mosiah 5:9).
• Most of us think of taking Christ’s name upon us
in context of baptism and the sacrament, and
rightly so. Consider for a moment what it might
mean to be called by the name of Christ and to
have His reputation as your own.
Surrendering your weaknesses
“A religion that does not require the sacrifice of all
things never has power sufficient to produce the faith
• What do you need to do to be found at the right
necessary unto life and salvation” (Joseph Smith,
hand of God? What do you covenant to do when
comp., Lectures on Faith [1985], 69).
you are baptized and when you partake of the
• Some people read these words and think “all things”
sacrament?
refers to all possessions. How has surrendering all
your weaknesses to the Lord increased your under-
standing of what it means to sacrifice all things?
45
NOTES
46
STEP 8
SEEKING FORGIVENESS
list helped us be specific in our prayers as we shared
with the Father all our unresolved feelings. We pled for
KEY PRINCIPLE: Make a written list of all
the grace of Christ to help us extend to others the same
persons you have harmed and become willing
mercy He gives us. If we found people on our lists that
to make restitution to them.
we had an especially difficult time forgiving, we took the
Before our recovery, our addictive lifestyles were Savior’s counsel to pray for their welfare, asking all the
like a tornado full of destructive energy that cut
blessings for them that we would want for ourselves
through our relationships, leaving much wreckage
(see Matthew 5:44).
behind. Step 8 was an opportunity to make a plan to
As we prayed for help to forgive others—even if it
clean up the wreckage and rebuild all that could be
felt insincere at first—we were eventually blessed with
saved. When we felt the healing power of the Savior’s
a miraculous sense of compassion. Even in extreme
mercy as we worked on step 7, we felt eager to reach
situations, people who have taken this approach have
out to others and to mend broken relationships. We
received the ability to forgive far beyond themselves.
learned, however, that impulsively rushing to make
One sister spent several weeks writing about her child-
amends without taking time for prayer and perhaps
hood and praying for her abusive father. She testifies
counsel from a trusted adviser, such as a bishop or
with joy that the Savior has relieved her of her negative,
other priesthood leader, could be as detrimental as not
painful feelings toward her father. In making a similar
making amends. Step 8 was an assurance against harm-
effort, we have learned that by making a thorough
ing others when we began contacting them in step 9.
inventory of our resentments and acknowledging them
Before we could rebuild relationships, we needed to
to the Savior, we finally ceased to be victims of those
identify the relationships that were damaged. We began
who hurt us. Once we honestly attempted to let go of
to list people we had harmed, but many of us found we
offenses toward us, we found we were able to finish
could not list these people without being distracted by
our lists of those we hoped would forgive us.
feelings of resentment toward those who had harmed
As you reach this point and begin your list, you
us. We honestly confessed our negative feelings to the
should pray for guidance from the Lord. These guide-
Lord. In response, He showed us that we faced the
lines may help. Ask yourself, “Is there anyone in my life,
same decision as the man in the parable who, having
past or present, who I feel embarrassed, uncomfortable,
been forgiven of all his debts, needed to forgive others.
or ashamed around?” Write down their names, and resist
We could almost hear the Lord say to us, “I forgave thee
the temptation to justify your feelings or excuse your
all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not
negative actions toward them. Include those you meant
thou also have . . . compassion on thy fellowservant,
to hurt, of course, and also those you did not intend to
even as I had pity on thee?” (Matthew 18:32–33).
hurt. Include those who have passed away and those
If you find yourself facing this problem, you may
you have no idea how to contact. You will deal with
need to do as many of us have done. Before you make a
these special cases when you take step 9. For now, as
list of people from whom you need to seek forgiveness,
you work through step 8, focus on your willingness to
first list those people you need to forgive. Don’t be sur-
be rigorous and unrelenting in your honesty.
prised if some names appear on both lists. People often
To be thorough, look for things you neglected to do
get caught in terrible cycles of exchanging hurts with
or things you left undone that hurt others. Don’t leave
others. To break these cycles of mutual resentment,
out little things. Think honestly about the harm you
someone has to be willing to forgive.
caused others as you indulged in your addiction, even
To begin this process of forgiveness, we once more
if you were not aggressive toward them. Admit the harm
found the tool of writing to be invaluable. Next to the
you did to loved ones and friends by being irresponsible,
names of the people we needed to forgive, we recorded
irritable, critical, impatient, and dishonorable. Look for
the way we originally felt when the hurtful incidents
anything large or small that added to another person’s
happened and what we were still tempted to feel. The
burdens or that saddened or challenged someone. Look
47
for lies you told or promises you broke and ways you
the energy of heart” and to “all who are true followers
manipulated or used others. List everyone who was
of his Son, Jesus Christ” (Moroni 7:47, 48).
affected. You may find your step 4 inventory a useful
Charity is a gift we receive as we learn to follow
guide in this process.
Jesus Christ and as we love Him with all our hearts,
Finally, after you have listed everyone you have
minds, and souls. Filled with this pure love from Him
harmed, add one more name to the list—your own.
and for Him, we find ourselves able to love others as
When you indulged in your addictions, you harmed
He has loved us. We become able to forgive the faults
yourself as well as others.
of others and to make amends for our mistakes.
As you work, remember that step 8 is not an exercise
In preparation for making amends, many of us have
in casting guilt or shame on anyone—either yourself or
found the following exercise helpful. Think of someone
those on your lists. The Savior will lift the burdens of
for whom you have had hard feelings. For two weeks,
guilt and shame as you take one more honest look at
deliberately kneel and pray for him or her each day.
troubles in your relationships and your part in them. By
Keep a record of changes in your thoughts and feelings
becoming willing to make amends, you benefit from the
about that person. (See Matthew 22:37–38; 1 Corin-
peace of knowing that Heavenly Father is pleased with
thians 13; 1 John 4:19; Moroni 7:44–48.)
your efforts. This step helps you take the actions that
enable the Savior to set you free from your past. Being
Study and Understanding
willing, you become ready to take step 9.
The following scriptures and statements from Church
leaders may help you as you take step 8. Use these
Action Steps
scriptures and questions for meditation, study, and
Forgive yourself and others; make a list of
writing.
people you might have offended or harmed
Peaceable followers of Christ
In step 8, you begin an amazing adventure in relat-
“I would speak unto you that are of the church, that
ing with a new heart to yourself, to others, and to life.
are the peaceable followers of Christ, and that have
You are ready to contribute peace to the world rather
obtained a sufficient hope by which ye can enter into
than add contention and negative feelings. You are will-
the rest of the Lord, from this time henceforth until ye
ing to give up judging anyone unrighteously and to
shall rest with him in heaven.
stop taking inventory of others’ lives and faults. You are
ready to stop minimizing your own behavior or making
“And now my brethren, I judge these things of you
excuses for it. You are willing to take another thorough
because of your peaceable walk with the children of
inventory—this time of those you have harmed.
men” (Moroni 7:3–4).
Although you may be terrified to consider it, you
• In the first seven steps, you began a process of
can become willing to meet the people on your list
becoming a peaceable follower of Christ. When
when the opportunity arises. You can prepare to do all
you are at peace with the Lord, you are better
you can to make amends to them. You can live by faith
prepared to be at peace with others. What other
in the Lord, not in fear of what others might do. You
steps do you need to take to be at peace with the
can become willing in step 8 to live a life guided by
people in your life?
principles rather than by shame or fear.
Seek the gift of charity; pray for others
For thousands of years, people have read Paul’s
great discourse on charity and tried to model their lives
after it. Many have struggled to have charity and have
often fallen woefully short of doing so.
The writings of the prophet Mormon clarify what
charity is and how to obtain it. He defined charity as
“the pure love of Christ” and taught that the Father
gives it to those who “pray unto the Father with all
48
Reaching out to others
“Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not,
and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall
be forgiven:
“Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure,
pressed down, and shaken together, and running over,
• Write about the wisdom of taking the steps in order.
shall men give into your bosom. For with the same
measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to
you again” (Luke 6:37–38).
• Even though you may fear that some people will
reject your efforts to make peace with them, do not
let this fear keep you from putting them on your list
and preparing yourself to reach out to them. The
blessings are far greater than the pain. Study these
verses, and write about the blessings of becoming
willing to make amends.
The Lord’s perfect love
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out
fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is
not made perfect in love.
“We love [God], because he first loved us” (1 John
4:18–19).
• The idea of making amends can be frightening if
you focus on doing it perfectly. How can your trust
in the Lord’s perfect love for you and for the person
from whom you seek forgiveness strengthen your
resolve to make restitution wherever possible?
“The nearer we get to our heavenly Father, the more
we are disposed to look with compassion on perishing
souls; we feel that we want to take them upon our
shoulders, and cast their sins behind our backs. . . .
If you would have God have mercy on you, have
mercy on one another” (Joseph Smith, in History
of the Church, 5:24).
• Without Jesus Christ, we are all perishing, imperfect
souls. How does it help you to know that in taking
step 8 you are one perishing soul preparing to
make amends to another perishing soul?
49
• How is Jesus Christ the greatest example of the
ability to forgive? Consider His willingness to help
you forgive others.
Forgiving and asking forgiveness
“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft
shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?
till seven times?
“Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until
seven times: but, Until seventy times seven”
(Matthew 18:21–22).
• Forgiving and asking forgiveness for a single
“I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another;
wrongdoing is easier than forgiving or asking
for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses
forgiveness for longstanding situations filled with
standeth condemned before the Lord; for there
multiple offenses. Think about relationships, past
remaineth in him the greater sin.
or present, where multiple offenses have occurred
“I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of
and will need to be forgiven. How can you gain
you it is required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:9–10).
strength to forgive and seek forgiveness?
• Jesus taught that to fail to forgive others is a
greater sin than the original trespass or offense.
How is refusing to forgive yourself or someone
else the equivalent of denying the Savior’s
Atonement for sin?
50
• How do resentment and bitterness damage you
• Think about people who have shown kindness and
physically, emotionally, and spiritually?
love to you. How have their actions inspired or
motivated you to act differently?
Breaking the cycle of bitterness and
offense
“Nothing is so much calculated to lead people to
forsake sin as to take them by the hand, and watch
• Consider the troubled relationships in your life. In
over them with tenderness. When persons manifest
what ways might they change as you reach out to
the least kindness and love to me, O what power it
other people with love and kindness?
has over my mind, while the opposite course has a
tendency to harrow up all the harsh feelings and
depress the human mind” (Joseph Smith, in History
of the Church, 5:23–24).
• The Prophet Joseph Smith described how kindness
can lead to repentance and forgiveness. Ponder
and write about your willingness to be the one
who breaks the cycle of bitterness and offense.
51
NOTES
52
STEP 9
RESTITUTION AND
Apologizing for some actions can be particularly chal-
RECONCILIATION
lenging. For example, you may have to address matters
that could have legal repercussions, such as dishonesty
or serious sexual sin. You may be tempted to overreact or
KEY PRINCIPLE: Wherever possible, make direct
to make excuses and avoid making amends. You should
restitution to all persons you have harmed.
A
prayerfully seek ecclesiastical or professional counsel
s we moved on to step 9, we were ready to seek
before taking any action in these very serious cases.
forgiveness. Like the repentant sons of Mosiah
In other cases, you may have no way of making
who went about “zealously striving to repair all the
amends directly. The person may be dead, or you may
injuries which they had done” (Mosiah 27:35), we
desired to make amends. Still, as we faced step 9, we
not be able to discover where he or she lives. In such
knew we could not carry out our desires unless God
cases, you can still make amends indirectly. You can
blessed us with His Spirit. We needed courage, good
write the person a letter expressing your regret and
judgment, sensitivity, prudence, and appropriate timing.
desire for reconciliation, even if the letter cannot be
These were not qualities that most of us possessed at
delivered. You can give a gift to the person’s favorite
that time. We realized that step 9 would once more test
charity. You can find someone who reminds you of that
our willingness to humble ourselves and seek the help
person and do something to help him or her. Or you
and grace of the Lord.
may be able to do something to help a member of the
family anonymously.
Because of our experiences in this challenging
process, we offer a few suggestions. It is very important
There may be times when approaching another
that you are not impulsive or careless as you attempt to
person or seeking to provide restitution is painful for
make amends. It is equally important that you do not
that person or even harmful. If you think that might
procrastinate making amends. Many recovering individ-
be the case, discuss the situation with a trusted adviser
uals have relapsed when they allowed fear to keep
before proceeding. This part of recovery must never
them from doing step 9. Pray for the Lord’s guidance
lead to the further harm of others. Also, at times you
and consult with a trusted adviser for help to avoid
may have caused harm that is beyond human ability
these pitfalls.
to repair. Elder Neal A. Maxwell spoke of this reality:
“Sometimes . . . restitution is not possible in real terms,
Sometimes you may be tempted to avoid meeting
such as when one contributed to another’s loss of faith
with a person on your list. We recommend, however,
or virtue. Instead, a subsequent example of righteous-
that you resist this temptation, unless, of course, a
ness provides a compensatory form of restitution”
legal restriction keeps you from meeting with some-
one. A spirit of humility and a feeling of honesty can
(in Conference Report, Oct. 1991, 41; or Ensign, Nov.
repair damaged relationships when you make reason-
1991, 31). From the moment you decide to adopt these
able efforts to meet in person. Let people know you
true principles as your new way of life, you begin to
are approaching them to make amends. Respect their
make amends.
wishes if they indicate they would rather not discuss
After making amends for most of your past actions,
the matter. If they give you the chance to apologize,
you may still have one or two people you feel like you
be brief and specific about the situation you remem-
cannot face. Do not despair. Many of us dealt with the
ber. Details are not necessary. The purpose is not to
same reality. We recommend you take your feelings to
explain or describe your side of things. The purpose is
the Lord in honest prayer. If you still have great fear or
to admit those wrongs you have committed, offer an
anger toward an individual, you probably should post-
apology, and make restitution wherever possible. Do
pone meeting with him or her. To overcome negative
not argue with people or criticize them, even if their
feelings, you could pray for charity and to see the per-
response is not favorable or accepting. Approach each
son as the Lord sees him or her. You could look for
person in a spirit of humility, offering reconciliation,
positive reasons why restitution and reconciliation will
never justification.
help. If you do these things and are patient, the Lord
53
can and will—in His own way and in His own time—
amends may take time and patience. Give others time
give you the ability and the miraculous opportunities
to realize that this time is different. This time you are
to be reconciled to everyone on your list.
not making empty promises; you are living to receive
Upon completing step 9 to the best of your ability,
a complete remission of your addiction and character
you have finally done all you can to put yourself in
weaknesses. Eventually, abstinence and changed
harmony with the commandments of the Lord. You
behavior will speak for themselves.
have begun to experience a new life of hope—not in
yourself but in the love of God. You have gone down
Study and Understanding
into the depths of humility and found the Lord waiting
The following scriptures and statements from Church
to embrace you. You have done all you can to heal rela-
leaders may help you in taking step 9. Use these
tionships and become reconciled to others. You have at
scriptures and questions for meditation, study, and
least partially entered into His rest; remaining there has
writing. Be honest and specific in your writing.
become your greatest desire. You are learning to recog-
nize and follow personal revelation better, which leads
Influencing others for good
you to live in harmony with the teachings of ancient
“The Spirit of the Lord doth say unto me: Command
and modern prophets of God. Even in your most diffi-
thy children to do good, lest they lead away the hearts
cult moments, you feel a new kind of peace. You have
of many people to destruction; therefore I command
learned to receive the blessing Paul described when he
you, my son, in the fear of God, that ye refrain from
wrote, “The peace of God, which passeth all under-
your iniquities;
standing, shall keep your hearts and minds through
“That ye turn to the Lord with all your mind, might,
Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).
and strength; that ye lead away the hearts of no
more to do wickedly; but rather return unto them,
Action Steps
and acknowledge your faults and that wrong which
Love others; refrain from judging others; be
ye have done” (Alma 39:12–13).
willing to accept a Church calling and to pay
• Some of the greatest harm we have done to others
tithes and offerings
is by influencing them to develop addictions them-
In the past, if you were religiously active, you may
selves. Write about the people in your life whom
have been motivated by fear of the judgment of God
you have influenced in this way.
or of what others would think. Perhaps you acted out
of a sense of duty. Today you recognize that service is a
way of coming unto Christ. It is a way of expressing
love to God. It expresses a continuing need for His
power and gratitude for His divine help. Consider
whether your activity in the Church is still motivated
by fear or duty or if it is a natural outgrowth of your
reborn faith in Christ.
Find ways to serve wherever you are. Become
worthy and available to serve in a Church calling or in
other ways. As you serve your brothers and sisters and
teach them by word and by example, you will share
with them His living reality in your life. (See Matthew
25:40; John 13:34–35; John 15:15; Mosiah 2:17.)
Be willing to do what is necessary to make
amends
In taking step 9, you must avoid becoming discour-
aged if others do not receive your apologies well or if
they do not believe you have really changed. Making
54
• Where can you find courage to face these people,
Preparing to meet God
according to Alma’s teachings in these verses?
“I would that ye would come forth and harden not your
hearts any longer; for behold, now is the time and the
day of your salvation; and therefore, if ye will repent
and harden not your hearts, immediately shall the
great plan of redemption be brought about unto you.
“For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to
meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day
for men to perform their labors” (Alma 34:31–32).
• What else do you accomplish when you soften your
heart and go to make amends?
Persuasion or compulsion
“Whosoever will come may come and partake of the
waters of life freely; and whosoever will not come the
same is not compelled to come; but in the last day it
shall be restored unto him according to his deeds”
(Alma 42:27).
• With many powerful reasons to take step 9, you
must never get caught up in the rationalization or
lie that you have no choice. The Addiction Recovery
Program is a program of persuasion, not compul-
• How does your willingness to make amends
sion. Write about whether you feel persuaded or
increase when you realize that you are also
compelled to take step 9. What reasons for being
preparing to meet God?
persuaded are listed in this verse?
55
Activity in the Church
• How does being active in the Church help you
“[The sons of Mosiah] traveled throughout all the land
make amends and recover more fully?
. . . zealously striving to repair all the injuries which
they had done to the church, confessing all their sins,
and publishing all the things which they had seen, and
explaining the prophecies and the scriptures to all who
desired to hear them” (Mosiah 27:35).
• Because of addictions, many people quit attending
church. Some used the faults of others to justify
their limited involvement. Write about your own
experiences with activity in The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Willing restitution
“You must restore as far as possible all that which
is stolen, damaged, or defiled. Willing restitution is
concrete evidence to the Lord that you are committed
to do all you can to repent” (Richard G. Scott, in
Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 102; or Ensign, May
1995, 76).
• Write about how taking step 9 is evidence not only
to the Lord but also to yourself and others that you
• How has becoming closer to the Savior through
are committed to a life of humility and honesty.
recovery helped you feel reunited with His
Church?
56
The intents of your heart
wrong I’ve done this person!” Although that may
“He that repents and does the commandments of the
be true, consider the power of Jesus Christ to
Lord shall be forgiven” (D&C 1:32).
repair those things you cannot repair. Write about
the necessity of trusting that Jesus Christ will do
• In making amends, you may face people who will
what you cannot do.
not forgive you. Maybe their hearts are still hard
toward you, or perhaps they do not trust your
intentions. How does it help you to know that the
Lord understands the true intent of your heart and
that He will receive your offer to repent and make
restitution, even if other people may not?
• In what ways can you show the Lord your trust in
Him? How can you increase that trust?
What the Savior can do for you
“Men cannot forgive their own sins; they cannot
cleanse themselves from the consequences of their
sins. Men can stop sinning and can do right in the
future, and so far their acts are acceptable before the
Lord and worthy of consideration. But who shall repair
the wrongs they have done to themselves and to
others, which it seems impossible for them to repair
themselves? By the atonement of Jesus Christ the sins
of the repentant shall be washed away; though they
be crimson they shall be made white as wool. This is
the promise given to you” (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel
Doctrine, 5th ed. [1939], 98–99).
• As you go out to make amends, do not be discour-
aged by thoughts such as, “This is impossible!
There’s no way I can adequately make up for the
57
NOTES
58
STEP 10
DAILY ACCOUNTABILITY
As you pay attention to your thoughts and feelings,
you can also discover any negative beliefs you still hold.
KEY PRINCIPLE: Continue to take personal
Ask your Father in Heaven to remove these. In taking
inventory, and when you are wrong promptly
step 10, you will no longer have to resort to justifying,
admit it.
rationalizing, or blaming anything or anyone. Your goal
B
will be to keep your heart open and your mind focused
y the time you come to step 10, you are ready for
on the lessons the Savior has taught.
a new way of living. The first nine steps helped
you learn a pattern of life based on spiritual principles.
Most of us follow step 10 by taking inventory each
These principles now become the foundation on which
day. As you plan your day, prayerfully examine your
you build for the rest of your life.
motives. Are you doing too much or too little? Are you
taking care of your basic spiritual, emotional, and physi-
In taking the first nine steps, you have applied
cal needs? Do you serve others?
principles of the gospel—faith in the Lord Jesus Christ
and repentance. You have seen miraculous changes in
Ask yourself these and other questions as you seek
your life. You have experienced love and tolerance, and
balance and serenity in your day. As the day unfolds,
you have developed a desire for peace. Your desire for
you can quickly stop negative thoughts or feelings that
your addiction has all but disappeared. When you are
threaten to overwhelm you. Be especially alert for old
tempted, you often find yourself recoiling from your
behaviors or thinking patterns during highly stressful
addiction rather than desiring it. You feel humility and
situations.
awe of what Heavenly Father has done that you could
Some people think of this type of inventory as a
not do alone.
time-out. During this time-out, take a few moments
The final three steps will help you maintain your
and apply to your immediate situation each principle
new spiritually minded way of life, so they are often
you have learned in following the steps. You will soon
called maintenance steps.
remember how essential it is to rely on the Lord in all
your efforts to recover. You can say to yourself in a
Self-evaluation throughout life is not a new concept.
moment of crisis, “What character weakness in me is
In the Book of Mormon, Alma taught that maintaining
being triggered? What have I done to contribute to this
a mighty change of heart takes effort. In verse after
problem? Is there anything I can say or do, without
verse, he indicated that honest, prayerful self-appraisal
pretense, which will lead to a respectful solution for
and immediate repentance must be a continual part
me and the other person? The Lord has all power. I’ll
of life (see Alma 5:14–30). To retain what you have
relax and trust Him.”
gained, you must stay in fit spiritual condition. You
do this by asking the kind of searching questions that
If you have taken a negative action toward another
Alma suggested about your feelings, thoughts, motives,
person, make amends as quickly as possible. Cast aside
and conduct. Through daily self-evaluation, you will
pride, and remind yourself that sincerely saying “I was
keep from slipping into denial and complacency.
wrong” is often just as important in healing a relation-
ship as saying “I love you.”
As you learned in steps 4 and 5, an inventory that
includes only your behaviors is not sufficient to change
Before you go to bed, examine your entire day. Ask
your heart. You also have to examine your thoughts and
yourself if you still need to counsel with the Lord about
feelings. This principle is just as true in step 10. Con-
any negative behaviors, thoughts, or feelings. In addition
tinue to watch for pride in all its forms, and humbly
to counseling with the Lord, you can talk to an adviser
take your weaknesses to your Heavenly Father, as you
or a friend in the program, someone you can trust to be
learned to do in steps 6 and 7. If you feel worried, self-
objective about your thinking.
pitying, troubled, anxious, resentful, carnal minded, or
You will continue to make mistakes as you interact
fearful in any way, turn immediately to the Father and
with others, but a commitment to step 10 is a commit-
allow Him to replace these thoughts with peace.
ment to take responsibility for mistakes. If you examine
59
your thoughts and actions each day and resolve them,
restore your peace through His Spirit. Honesty and
negative thoughts and feelings will not increase until
humility can strengthen you. You will become more
they threaten your abstinence. You no longer have to
conscious of Heavenly Father’s presence in your life as
live in isolation from the Lord or others. You will have
you call on Him to help you stay spiritually clean. You
strength and faith to face difficulties and overcome
will learn to value progress and to forgive imperfection
them. You can rejoice in your progress and trust that
in yourself and others. You will lose the desire to be at
practice and patience will ensure continued recovery.
odds with anything or anyone. Self-appraisal becomes a
way of life as you let go of fears and overcome tempta-
Action Steps
tions one day at a time.
Participate in priesthood interviews as part of
Study and Understanding
your commitment to self-appraisal; continue to
strengthen your relationships with other Church
Study the following scriptures and statements of
members
Church leaders. Use these scriptures, statements,
We can all remember a time when we were afraid to
and questions for meditation, study, and writing.
look honestly at our own behaviors. Trying to avoid
Be honest and specific.
such moments was one reason many of us limited our
Watch your thoughts, words, and deeds
involvement in the Church. However, as we progressed
through this program of rigorous honesty, we began to
“If ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts,
understand the value of self-appraisal.
and your words, and your deeds, and observe the
commandments of God, and continue in the faith of
Now we no longer fear the opportunities for self-
what ye have heard concerning the coming of our
appraisal that come through activity in the Church.
Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish.
We are able to appreciate the truth of this teaching of
And now, O man, remember, and perish not”
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve:
(Mosiah 4:30).
“Worthiness interviews, sacrament meetings, temple
attendance, and other Church meetings are all part of
• It could be dangerous or deadly if you didn’t pay
the plan that the Lord provides to educate our souls, to
attention to what you were doing while driving a
help us develop the healthy habit of constantly check-
car. How does step 10 help you to stay awake
ing our bearings to stay on the path of faith. Regular
and alert to where you are going in life?
spiritual checkups help us navigate life’s highways and
byways. . . .
“. . . We can all . . . benefit by looking deep inside
our hearts during reverent moments of worship and
prayer and asking ourselves this simple question, ‘Am
I true?’
“The question becomes more powerfully useful if
we are completely honest with our answers and if it
motivates us to make repentant course corrections
that keep us on the path of faith” (in Conference
Report, Apr. 1997, 20; or Ensign, May 1997, 17).
As you participate in these opportunities for self-
evaluation, you will find yourself growing in love for
brothers and sisters in the fellowship of the Church.
Examine your thoughts, words, and deeds
daily; immediately set right any wrongs
Step 10 represents acceptance of the truth that you
must continue to live by spiritual principles. If you stray
from them, repent immediately and ask God at once to
60
• Write about being self-observant. How does self-
Living in the present
appraisal help you avoid lapsing again into your
“The more enlightened a person is, the more he
addictions (and perishing)?
seeks the gift of repentance, and the harder he strives
to free himself from sin as often as he falls short of
the divine will. . . . It follows that the sins of the god-
fearing and the righteous are continually remitted
because they repent and seek the Lord anew every
day and every hour” (Bruce R. McConkie, Doctrinal
New Testament Commentary, 3 vols. [1966–73],
3:342–43).
• One of the most beneficial effects—mentally,
emotionally, and spiritually—of living the principles
described in these steps is that you learn to live in
the present. How does step 10 help you to deal with
life one hour at a time when necessary?
Humility and self-control
“Blessed are they who humble themselves without
being compelled to be humble” (Alma 32:16).
• Being willing to eliminate negative thoughts
before they erupt into hurtful behavior is a way
of humbling yourself without being compelled.
Write about your willingness to humble yourself.
Experiment for a day with eliminating negative
thoughts. What blessings come to you?
• How does it help you to know that you only have to
live these principles one day at a time?
61
Continuing repentance and forgiveness
“As oft as they repented and sought forgiveness, with
real intent, they were forgiven” (Moroni 6:8).
• Knowing that the Lord is willing to forgive you as
often as you repent with real intent can give you
courage to try again each time you fall short. Write
what you think it means to repent and seek
“Behold, in the last days, . . . both those who shall
forgiveness with real intent.
come upon this land and those who shall be upon
other lands, yea, even upon all the lands of the earth,
behold, they will be drunken with iniquity and all
manner of abominations. . . .
“. . . Behold, all ye that doeth iniquity, stay yourselves
and wonder, for ye shall cry out, and cry; yea, ye
shall be drunken but not with wine, ye shall stagger
but not with strong drink” (2 Nephi 27:1, 4).
“When the night came they were drunken with anger,
even as a man who is drunken with wine; and they
slept again upon their swords” (Ether 15:22).
• In these verses, people are described as drunken
but not with wine. Recovering addicts often refer
to this kind of situation as being on a “dry drunk”
or “an emotional bender.” Write about any ten-
dency you might have to hold on to anger or
other hurtful emotions.
Continuing in your spiritual growth
“I would that ye should be humble, and be submis-
sive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience
and long-suffering; being temperate in all things”
(Alma 7:23).
• Whoever coined the old saying “Practice makes
perfect” didn’t mention how much patience it
takes to keep practicing. How does self-appraisal
and making amends on a daily basis ensure you
will continue in your humility and your spiritual
development?
62
• How does taking an inventory at the end of each
day help you overcome this tendency?
Lifelong improvement
“I still feel to urge upon the Latter-day Saints the
necessity of a close application of the principles of
the Gospel in our lives, conduct and words and all
that we do; and it requires the whole man, the whole
life to be devoted to improvement in order to come
to knowledge of the truth as it is in Jesus Christ”
(Brigham Young, Discourses of Brigham Young, sel.
John A. Widtsoe [1954], 11).
• Taking these steps could definitely be described as
a “close application” of gospel principles. How
does being willing to evaluate yourself daily at
every level—actions, words, thoughts, feelings,
and beliefs—help you devote yourself to lifelong
improvement?
63
NOTES
64
STEP 11
PERSONAL REVELATION
Father in the name of Christ for a closer relationship
with Him. You deliberately “seek this Jesus of whom
KEY PRINCIPLE: Seek through prayer and medi-
the prophets and apostles have written” (Ether 12:41).
tation to know the Lord’s will and to have the
You study the scriptures because they testify of Him
power to carry it out.
in every instance, especially the Book of Mormon. In
As we studied and practiced the steps of recovery, testimony after testimony, the prophets of the Book of
we became familiar and comfortable with a life
Mormon describe seeking and finding a better under-
based on humility and acceptance of God’s will. Gone
standing of the Father through the Holy Ghost. You
were the angry, confused times when, if we prayed at
have experimented on the scriptures and found them
all, we prayed either in an attitude of stubborn self-will
to be true. Prayer and meditation have become the
or whimpering self-pity. We began to live so our lives
lifeblood of your new life. Where prayer and meditation
reflected the prophetic counsel of President Ezra Taft
used to be a neglected duty, your heart’s desire is now
Benson: “The constant and most recurring question in
to kneel before your Father at least morning and
our minds, touching every thought and deed of our
evening and pour out your heart to Him in gratitude
lives, should be, ‘Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?’
for Jesus Christ and for the Holy Ghost.
(Acts 9:6.) The answer to that question comes only
As you work through step 11, you will come to
through the Light of Christ and the Holy Ghost.
realize even more that through the Holy Ghost you
Fortunate are those who so live that their being is
will receive knowledge or revelation of the Father’s
filled with both” (“Jesus Christ—Gifts and Expecta-
will for you. Through the Atonement, you will have
tions,” Ensign, Dec. 1988, 2).
the power (or grace) to carry out the will of the
In step 11, we made a lifelong commitment to seek
Father. You will know you are blessed and supported
one day at a time to know the Lord’s will and to have
by three glorified, exalted individuals—God the
the power to carry it out. Our greatest desire was to
Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost—who are
improve our abilities to receive guidance from the Holy
united in power and purpose to bring to pass your
Ghost and to conduct our lives accordingly. This desire
immortality and eternal life.
was such a great contrast to the attitudes we had when
You will grow in your ability to resist temptation as
we were lost in our addictions.
you study the scriptures and pray and meditate about
If you were like us, before you began to recover
them. Learning to receive revelation takes practice and
you thought hope, joy, peace, and fulfillment would
patience. You can prepare yourself by studying what has
come from an earthly source. Whether this source
been said by prophets and apostles and by trying to live
was alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, dishonest spend-
according to their teachings. You can prepare by being
ing, unhealthy eating, or codependency—whatever
ready to receive, write down, think about, and follow
your particular addiction was—your effort was to get
the guidance you receive. When you express gratitude
by in a world where you felt confused, lost, and alone.
to the Lord for the blessings you have received, your
When others tried to love you, perhaps you couldn’t
capacity to receive guidance will increase.
feel it. Their love was never enough. Nothing satisfied
As you keep yourself free from your addictions, you
the hunger you felt. As you have lived the principles
will be more able to receive the guidance of the Holy
of recovery, however, your heart and life have
Ghost. Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the
changed.
Twelve taught: “The Holy Ghost will protect us
You have begun to understand and appreciate your
against being deceived, but to realize that wonderful
need for the Savior, Jesus Christ, and His role in your
blessing we must always do the things necessary to
life and to treasure the Light of Christ. You have begun
retain that Spirit. We must keep the commandments,
to realize you are not just talking to yourself when you
pray for guidance, and attend church and partake of
feel your conscience guide you. Clumsy and unprac-
the sacrament each Sunday. And we must never do
ticed as you may have felt initially, you now pray to the
anything to drive away that Spirit. Specifically, we
65
should avoid pornography, alcohol, tobacco, and
Invite and seek His Spirit to be with you continually,
drugs, and always, always avoid violations of the law
that you might be guided to do the right thing. (See
of chastity. We must never take things into our bodies
Psalm 46:1; Alma 37:36–37; 3 Nephi 20:1.)
or do things with our bodies that drive away the Spirit
Meditate throughout the day on the scriptures
of the Lord and leave us without our spiritual protec-
and other inspired literature; continue to pray
tion against deception” (in Conference Report, Oct.
In many ways, step 11 is a natural continuation of
2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 2004, 46).
your efforts in step 10 to stay aware of the truth in your
Prayer and meditation are powerful antidotes to fear
life. As you plan your days, go about your activities, and
and depression. You “have not come thus far save it
retire to bed at night, let your heart be drawn out in
were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him,
prayer to God continually. One idea is to take a thought
relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to
from what you have read in your morning studies and
save” (2 Nephi 31:19). Only by coming to the Father
meditate upon it frequently during your daily activities.
through Jesus Christ, in His name, with His Spirit upon
This practice will help you keep your mind in tune with
you, can you continue to progress and grow spiritually.
truth.
Step 11 represents a commitment to improve your rela-
tionship with God through a lifetime practice of seek-
By nature, we all tend to be undisciplined, yet by
ing guidance daily and obeying the commandments.
looking to Jesus Christ and the example He has set,
you will find the humility to continue submitting to the
Action Steps
Father. Like the Savior, you will be able to say sincerely
“Thy will be done” (Matthew 26:42) throughout the
Come unto the Father in the name of Jesus Christ
day. The Light of Christ will guide you and prepare you
for direction and power through private prayer
to receive the companionship of the Holy Ghost. The
and meditation; receive and study your patri-
companionship of the Holy Ghost will become more
archal blessing
constant, and your ability to recognize and testify of
Over the course of recovery, many of us learned
truth will increase.
to arise early and seek a period of quiet solitude for
study and prayer. If you haven’t done so already,
Study and Understanding
schedule time for prayer and meditation, perhaps in
Study the following scriptures and statements of
the morning. During this time you can put God first,
Church leaders. They will increase your understand-
before anyone or anything else in the day. Kneel if you
ing and help you learn. You can use these scriptures,
are physically able. Pray, often aloud, to the Father,
statements, and questions for prayerful meditation,
seeking the Spirit to guide you (see Romans 8:26).
personal study, and group discussion.
Then study, using the scriptures and the teachings of
modern prophets to guide your meditation. Review
Draw near to the Lord
your patriarchal blessing often. Prayerfully ponder the
“Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you;
guidance you find in it. (If you have not received a
seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye
patriarchal blessing, talk with your bishop about
shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you”
obtaining one.)
(D&C 88:63).
Writing will once again be a powerful tool of self-
• The Lord respects your will and your agency. He
expression and appraisal as you record your thoughts
allows you to choose to approach Him without
and feelings in a journal. You can also record impres-
compulsion. He draws near to you when you invite
sions of counsel, comfort, and wisdom that come
Him to be near. Write about how you will draw
through the Holy Ghost.
near to Him today.
When this precious time of private meditation
has ended, do not cease to pray. Silent prayer, in the
depths of your heart and mind, will become your way
of thinking throughout your days. As you interact
with others, as you make decisions, as you deal with
emotions and temptations—counsel with the Lord.
66
Feast on the words of Christ
“Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost;
wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore,
I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for
behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things
what ye should do” (2 Nephi 32:3).
• In this verse, Nephi taught that when you feast on
the words of Christ, these words will guide you in
all you need to know and do. Picture how it would
be to have Jesus Christ walk and talk with you all
day long. Write about the feelings you have when
you meditate on this image.
Gratitude
“Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for
this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
Quench not the Spirit” (1 Thessalonians 5:17–19).
• When you remember to be grateful for everything in
your life, even the things you don’t understand, you
will be able to maintain the continual contact with
God that Paul called praying “without ceasing.” Try
to thank God throughout the day. How does this
practice affect your closeness to the Spirit?
Personal revelation
“The Savior said ‘I will tell you in your mind and in
your heart, by the Holy Ghost’ (D&C 8:2, emphasis
added). . . . An impression to the mind is very specific.
Detailed words can be heard or felt and written as
67
though the instructions were being dictated. A com-
fasting. Write about how abstaining has increased
munication to the heart is a more general impression”
your ability to have the spirit of revelation.
(Richard G. Scott, “Helping Others to Be Spiritually
Led,” Doctrine and Covenants and Church history
symposium, August 11, 1998, 2).
• As your understanding of personal revelation
increases, you will recognize it more often and in
a greater variety of ways. Write about how you
have experienced impressions and revelations
from the Lord.
“The idea that scripture reading can lead to inspira-
tion and revelation opens the door to the truth that a
scripture is not limited to what it meant when it was
written but may also include what that scripture means
to a reader today. Even more, scripture reading may
also lead to current revelation on whatever else the
Lord wishes to communicate to the reader at that time.
We do not overstate the point when we say that the
scriptures can be a Urim and Thummim to assist each
of us to receive personal revelation” (Dallin H. Oaks,
“Scripture Reading and Revelation,” Ensign, Jan.
1995, 8).
• Learning the language of the scriptures is a lot
like learning a foreign language. The best way to
“I say unto you [these things whereof I have spoken]
learn is to immerse yourself in them, to read and
are made known unto me by the Holy Spirit of God.
study them every day. Write about a passage of
Behold, I have fasted and prayed many days that I
scripture that has opened up to you and become
might know these things of myself. And now I do
a personal revelation to you.
know of myself that they are true; for the Lord God
hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy Spirit;
and this is the spirit of revelation which is in me”
(Alma 5:46).
• Alma testified that when he prayed and fasted, his
ability to receive revelation increased. Abstinence
from your addiction can be considered a form of
68
Receiving counsel from the Lord
“Seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel
from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that
he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great
mercy, over all his works” (Jacob 4:10).
• Our prayers may have been ineffective in the
past because we spent more time counseling the
Lord—telling Him what we wanted—than seeking
His will about our decisions and conduct. Think of a
recent experience with prayer. Was it full of counsel
to the Lord or from the Lord? Write about your will-
ingness to listen for and receive His counsel to you.
69
NOTES
70
STEP 12
SERVICE
Be prayerful as you consider ways to serve, seeking
always to be led by the Holy Ghost. If you are willing,
KEY PRINCIPLE: Having had a spiritual
you will find many opportunities to share the spiritual
awakening as a result of the Atonement of
principles you have learned. You will find ways to share
Jesus Christ, share this message with others
your testimony with others and opportunities to serve
and practice these principles in all you do.
them in many other ways. As you serve others, you will
S
maintain humility by focusing on the gospel principles
ervice will help you grow in the light of the
and practices you have learned. Only then can you be
Spirit throughout the rest of your life. In step 10,
assured that your motives and inspiration are good. Be
you learned to evaluate your life each day and to be
sure to give freely, not expecting a particular result.
accountable for your actions. In step 11, you learned
Respect the agency of others. Remember that most of
to remember the Savior from moment to moment
us had to “hit bottom” before we were ready to study
so you might have the guidance of the Holy Ghost as
and apply these principles. The same will be true for
continuously as possible. Step 12 involves the third
most of those you desire to help.
anchor—service to others—that ensures a continued
When you become aware of others who deal with
recovery and a remission of sin.
addiction in their lives or the lives of their loved ones,
To remain free of addiction, you must get outside
you may want to let them know about this guide and
yourself and serve. The desire to help others is a natural
the LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program.
result of spiritual awakening.
If they feel like talking, let them. Tell some of your
You have a message of hope for other addicts, for all
story to let them know that you can relate. Don’t give
afflicted and troubled people who are willing to con-
advice or try to fix them in any way. Simply inform
sider a spiritual approach to changing their lives, and
them of the program and the spiritual principles that
for anyone seeking truth and righteousness. The mes-
have blessed your life.
sage is that God is a God of miracles, just as He has
You may discover that if an addict is not ready to
always been (see Moroni 7:29). Your life proves that.
embrace these spiritual principles, perhaps a family
You are becoming a new person through the Atone-
member or friend of the addict may be receptive.
ment of Jesus Christ. You will share this message best
Virtually everyone living in these perilous times could
through your efforts to serve others. As you serve,
benefit by learning and applying gospel principles. You
your understanding and knowledge of this process
may occasionally feel inspired to offer someone a copy
is strengthened and deepened.
of this guide along with a Book of Mormon. In doing
Sharing your testimony of His mercy and His grace
so, you will actually share the tools that have helped
is one of the most important services you can offer.
you rebuild your life by coming to Christ.
Bearing the burdens of others through acts of kindness
When you do something for someone else or share
and selfless service is part of your new life as a follower
the message of hope and recovery, you must not allow
of Christ (see Mosiah 18:8).
another person to become too dependent on you.
President Ezra Taft Benson taught: “Men and women
Your responsibility is to encourage others who struggle
who turn their lives over to God will discover that He
to turn to Heavenly Father and the Savior for guidance
can make a lot more out of their lives than they can.
and power. In addition, you should not be reluctant
He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken
to encourage them to turn to the Lord’s authorized
their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits,
servants as well. Great blessings can come from the
multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities,
Lord through those who hold priesthood keys.
comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out
As you try to help others, you must understand
peace. Whoever will lose his life in the service of God
that it will be difficult for them to remain in recovery if
will find eternal life” (“Jesus Christ—Gifts and Expec-
family members do not support them or do not under-
tations,” Ensign, Dec. 1988, 4).
stand that recovery takes time. Anyone can recover,
71
however, no matter how others—even closest loved
Magnify the Church callings you receive. If you do
ones—choose to react.
not have responsibilities in your ward or stake, let your
As you carry to others the message of recovery
bishop know that you are available to serve. You can
through gospel principles, you must be patient and
also bless others by participating in family history work
meek. There is no place in your new life for ego or
and by preparing to worship and serve in the temple
any sense of superiority. Never forget where you have
and to make covenants there with the Lord. President
come from and how you have been rescued by the
Gordon B. Hinckley taught, “Temple service is the end
grace of God. Jesus Christ will do the same “in all
product of all of our teaching and activity” (in Con-
cases” for those who will repent and turn to Him
ference Report, Oct. 2005, 3; or Ensign, Nov. 2005, 4).
(Mosiah 29:20).
The principles taught in this guide will lead you to the
In your enthusiasm to help others, be sure to keep
temple; they will increase your desire to serve there.
a balance between sharing the message and working on
Although you may not have thought it possible
your own program. Your primary focus must continue
before, you can now imagine entering the doors of the
to be to apply these principles yourself. Your efforts to
holy temple, drinking deeply of the peace there, and
share these ideas with others will be only as effective
feeling close to the Lord in His house. In the temple,
as the recovery you maintain.
you will find spiritual power to continue in your recov-
These principles you have learned and practiced to
ery. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the
overcome your addiction are the same principles that
Twelve testified: “Regular temple work can provide
will lead you in all aspects of your life to act according
spiritual strength. It can be an anchor in daily life, a
to the Lord’s plan. Using these principles of the
source of guidance, protection, security, peace, and
gospel, you can endure to the end as the Lord has
revelation” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1992, 123; or
commanded and you can do so with joy.
Ensign, May 1992, 88).
Serve others who struggle with addiction by
Action Steps
sharing the principles of recovery; apply these
Bear public testimony; magnify callings and
principles in all aspects of life
talents in serving others; hold family home
The LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery
evening and family prayer; prepare to attend
Program offers great opportunities for service. You can
the temple and worship there
serve others by attending meetings and sharing your
Your testimony of the love and mercy of Heavenly
experience, faith, and hope. You can support others
Father and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, is no longer
and strengthen them.
a theory. It has become a living reality. You have experi-
As you have practiced the principles of the gospel,
enced it for yourself. As you have become aware of His
you have learned that the Atonement applies in every
love for you, you have also become aware of His love
aspect of life. President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum
for others.
of the Twelve Apostles testified: “For some reason we
President Howard W. Hunter taught, “Those of us
think the Atonement of Christ applies only at the end
who have partaken of the Atonement are under obli-
of mortal life to redemption from the Fall, from spiri-
gation to bear faithful testimony of our Lord and Savior”
tual death. It is much more than that. It is an ever-
(“The Atonement and Missionary Work,” seminar for
present power to call upon in everyday life. When we
new mission presidents, June 21, 1994, 2).
are racked or harrowed up or tormented by guilt or
Bear testimony to your family in word and deed in
burdened with grief, He can heal us” (in Conference
the privacy of your own home. Bear testimony in regu-
Report, Apr. 2001, 28; or Ensign, May 2001, 23).
lar family home evenings, family prayer, and family
You can share this message with others through your
scripture study. Bear testimony as you join with your
example and your words of encouragement. When you
family in service projects and as you live your life in
meet people throughout the day, greet them with a
a Christlike way. You can also bear testimony in Church
smile. Show gratitude for what they do. When oppor-
settings, such as in fast and testimony meetings or in
tunities arise, bear testimony of the hope that comes
classes or while giving Church service.
through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
72
Study and Understanding
Great progress from little steps
“Be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the
The scriptures and the teachings of Church leaders
foundation of a great work. And out of small things
will help you continue your recovery. Study the follow-
proceedeth that which is great” (D&C 64:33).
ing scriptures and statements. Use them for prayerful
meditation, personal study, and group discussion.
• Write about the feelings you have when you think
of living these principles in all aspects of your life.
Conversion and recovery
How does it help to realize that great works are
“Converted means to turn from one belief or course
done in small steps?
of action to another. Conversion is a spiritual and
moral change. Converted implies not merely mental
acceptance of Jesus and his teachings but also a
motivating faith in him and his gospel—a faith which
works a transformation, an actual change in one’s
understanding of life’s meaning and in his allegiance
to God in interest, in thought, and in conduct”
(Marion G. Romney, in Conference Report,
Guatemala Area Conference 1977, 8).
• The Savior counseled Peter to strengthen his breth-
ren after he was converted (see Luke 22:32). Write
about President Romney’s definition of conversion
Strengthening others
and how it applies to your experience in recovery.
“This is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument
in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance;
and this is my joy.
“And behold, when I see many of my brethren truly
penitent, and coming to the Lord their God, then is
my soul filled with joy; then do I remember what the
Lord has done for me, yea, even that he hath heard
my prayer; yea, then do I remember his merciful arm
which he extended towards me” (Alma 29:9–10).
• We have learned that it is critical to recovery to be
willing to share our testimonies of these principles.
How will sharing your experience help you remain
strong in your recovery?
• How do you feel about strengthening others as they
recover from addictive behaviors?
73
“[As ye] are willing to mourn with those that mourn;
practicing these principles perfectly. How does
yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort,
it quiet your fears to realize that the Savior
and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in
works through imperfect people?
all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even
until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be
numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye
may have eternal life—
“Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your
hearts, what have you against being baptized in the
name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye
have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will
serve him and keep his commandments, that he may
pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?”
(Mosiah 18:9–10).
• Your experience with addiction helps you empa-
thize with those who struggle with addiction; your
experience in recovery helps you comfort them.
Write about your increased desire and your ability
to stand as a witness of God since you have
followed the steps of recovery.
The power of God unto salvation
“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it
is the power of God unto salvation to every one that
believeth” (Romans 1:16).
• Write your thoughts and feelings as you look back
and consider that it took a spiritual experience to
help you overcome your addiction. Write about any
feelings of reluctance you may have to tell others
that you were healed by applying the principles of
the gospel of Christ.
Serving with the help of the Lord
“The Redeemer chose imperfect men to teach the
way to perfection. He did so then; He does so now”
(Thomas S. Monson, in Conference Report, Apr.
2004, 19; or Ensign, May 2004, 20).
• Sometimes we wonder if we are ready to share
recovery with others because we are not yet
74
“Go your way whithersoever I will, and it shall be
given you by the Comforter what you shall do and
whither you shall go.
“Pray always, lest you enter into temptation and lose
your reward.
“Be faithful unto the end, and lo, I am with you.
These words are not of man nor of men, but of me,
even Jesus Christ, your Redeemer, by the will of the
Father” (D&C 31:11–13).
• The scriptures are full of guidance for those who
wish to maintain a spiritual way of life that will
lead them back to God. What specific guidance
do you find in these verses?
75
NOTES
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77
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ENGLISH
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Document Outline
- TABLE OF CONTENTS
- The 12 Steps
- Introduction
- STEP 1: Honesty
- STEP 2: Hope
- STEP 3: Trust in God
- STEP 4: Truth
- STEP 5: Confession
- STEP 6: Change of Heart
- STEP 7: Humility
- STEP 8: Seeking Forgiveness
- STEP 9: Restitution and Reconciliation
- STEP 10: Daily Accountability
- STEP 11: Personal Revelation
- STEP 12: Service
